President-elect Donald J. Trump announced the appointment of Ronald McDonald.
“For too long,” the President declared, “the country has been deprived of our most precious resource, hamburgers, by the lawless Hamilton Burglar. He hasn’t been seen in years, and Sleepy Joe made no effort to find him. We must flush him out of hiding and bring him to justice. How hard can it be to find the guy? He always wears a bandit mask and a giant hat indoors. They should be able to trace him based on dental records alone.”
The President continued: “Mr. McDonald is my choice, not only because he has vowed to protect our strategic fast food reserve, in co-operation with my new Secretary of Defense, Colonel Sanders, but I also have to love a guy with ‘Donald’ in his name.”
Democrats declared, “The man has nominated his own co-worker. Yet another illustration of Trump corruption.”
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| Mr. McDonald | Mr. Trump | Mr. Burglar |
Breaking News: The Associated Press has reported that Mr. McDonald has declined the nomination. Mr. Trump has sworn to replace McDonald with another equally qualified clown.
Ronald McDonald for AG? Oh, I can only wish it was true.
Ronald is overqualified for the job…Trump insists on pointing the most unqualified person.
Well, he could have picked that senator with the house full of gold bars.
I still think George Santos will find a home in this administration. Lack of game recognizes lack of game.
And he’s bringing back Linda McMahon to the fold as the Secretary of Commerce…. we’re so FUCKED!
Who was it last time – Dobby? This may be an upgrade.
Well, if you’re a wrestling fan. You know who she is and… oh boy… she’s dumb as fuck. Her husband is now likely to have all of those sex trafficking and rape charges dropped while she is also known for covering up a scandal involving WWE backstage personnel and young boys.
This would be a better choice than this actual one. Ronald never sex trafficked a teenager.
And we’re off! Over the last 4 years we had such a good president that not a single negative story was posted. Biden was perfect, Harris was perfect, it was all perfect! 2 months until he even takes office and we’re dusting off the old ”Heckuva job, Trumpy!’ I’m beginning to think there might be a bias here. Anyway, sorry for your loss, I wish you all the best for the next 4 years, hoping you pull through. Help is always available if you need someone to talk to.
Oh man, get ready for the intellectual basement-dwelling lefties here to inform you of all the ways you’re wrong! Trump has only been making America great again for a week and these guys are already coming unglued.
that was better joke than any standup I have sen.. thanks for that.. Trump is a retard 60 IQ dude.. it is what it is..
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Explain why Gaetz was the lone dissenting vote against a human trafficking bill.
Reminder: The Donald signed that bill.
Seriously, there are a couple dozen GOP state AG’s who might actually do the job competently and Trump picks the coke-snorting pedo for the job.
For the purposes of humor, Trump is, of course, much more suitable because he does and says foolish and bizarre things almost every single day, while Biden was simply old and dull-witted and tried to hide out of public scrutiny.
That said, I have been shitting on Biden regularly. Here are some of the things I have said:
Biden not only flubs the speech and starts rambling about Cornpop, but he doesn’t actually remember that he resigned, so he just keeps campaigning the next day, pulling a full Costanza.
He screwed the pooch so hard they had to check him for distemper.
Biden shit the bed so bad that the Secret Service changed his code name to “Amber Heard.”
His brain is so vacant that Red Lobster tried to sell its contents.
Joe Biden loves trains, but apparently not the kind “of thought.”
If the election were held at this moment, he would have a hard time defeating Cornpop.
Biden needs to be replaced by somebody sharper. Jimmy Carter is still eligible.
His expression is so vacant that the homeless tried to move in.
Joe Biden’s mind is like a browser: 19 tabs are open, 3 of them are frozen, and he has no idea where the music is coming from
Biden tried out that new dance craze, The Mitch (McConnell) It’s ol’ Disco Joe, as they call ‘im! Man, that guy can get down! “Oh, yeah, we’re doin’ the Mitch. Ya just stand still like a bitch. (Doin’ it, doin’ it)”
Further good news as Trump will keep you busy the next 4 yrs, eh.
Trump being Trump or some such nonsense!
John Oliver went on a rant last week about people asking him, “Doesn’t Trump’s election make a comedian’s job easier.” His answer was “absolutely not,” but I think he may be in denial.
Stephen Colbert put it better . “You think a Janitor in a kids school asked to clean the kids bathroom Does explosive Diarrhea make it better for him”
that was better joke than any standup I have sen.. thanks for that.. Trump is a retard 60 IQ dude.. it is what it is..
I have held back from commentary on the election since it happened (and mostly before as well). But let me say this: i) holy fucking shit what terrible cabinet nominees by the orange filth and ii) as expected.
Terrible cabinet picks? Not enough DEI hires, troops, and blue-haired weirdoes for ya?
* Troons, not troops. Lousy auto-correct ruining my inappropriate insults.
100% sure sign of sub-moron intellect: blames his stupid mistakes on auto-correct.
Damn, you got me. Misspelled one slanderous word that auto-correct doesn’t recognize; probably illiterate. As I told that other guy above, the 180 IQ super-intellectual liberals will be along shortly to tell us all how smart they are.
Also, a true 100% sure sign of sub-moron intellect: starts a sentence with a numeral instead of spelling out the word, or rearranging the sentence.
Troon is a word now?
And in other news, The Onion acquires Alex Jones’ Infowars.
It’s directly out of Putin’s playbook: Loyalty first. Qualifications don’t really matter. You have to look at it from Trumps viewpoint.
Putin is still in power despite his country going to hell in a hand basket. You can clearly see that his policy does work for him.
Yes, Putin may be overthrown tomorrow, or even killed, OR he might hold onto power for another decade. Loyalty is everything.
Qualifications? You mean like Biden’s cabinet? SecDef Lloyd Austin. SoT Pete Bootyjudge. Homeland Sec Mayorkas. Hell, even his VP / Border Czar wasn’t qualified to be the Mayor of Palm Springs, let alone POTUS.
Take a good look at Putin’s government. They were placed in those positions due to their loyalty to Putin.
You can argue for or against Biden or Trump. My point is that this time Trump is going for loyalty. He learned a few things from last time around.
Right. Because presidents go out of their way to appoint disloyal people to be in their cabinet right?
You’re conflating two notions of loyalty. Most leaders want subordinates with expertise, people who will help steer the ship and will tell them face-to-face when they are wrong. Trump just wants people who will tell him he is right, no matter how wrong he is.
As a general rule, Presidents expect their underlings to be loyal to America, and to the Constitution, not to them personally. Many if not most of Lincoln’s cabinet disliked him and he knew that, but he appointed them anyway, because he thought they would be the best people in the position, and would express their positions to him honestly.
“As a general rule, Presidents expect their underlings to be loyal to America, and to the Constitution, not to them personally.”
How loyal were the founders
The only loyalty that matters is loyalty to the people, not abstractions. “America” is synonymous with bombings, death, and destruction, anyone talking about loyalty to it rather than people within it is telling on themselves and what they stand for.
There is a word for one who places loyalty to himself or another person over loyalty to his country. That word is “traitor.”
The question I always ask myself about a leader is this, “If he had to choose between what was good for him and what was good for the country, which would he choose?” In the case of a subordinate, they have to ask, “If my boss asked me to do something that I knew was bad for the country, would I do it, or would I resign?” Those are the questions that define both integrity and patriotism.
I believe that most of our elected leaders will try to do the right thing when the rubber meets the road. The Republican senators went to Dick Nixon and told him he did not have enough party support to avoid impeachment and conviction. They were loyal to their principles, not to their party leader.
But there are always exceptions.
And there are always those without principles.
Crap as they are, gotta wonder how long his picks will last in office, expressed in the standard unit of Scaramuccis (1 mooch = 11 days). Of course if instead of resigning, they start falling out windows, then we know we’re in Putin country. (Which is like Marlboro country, but less lung cancer, more auto-defenestration.)
Qualifications?? Since when do liberals care about qualifications? They elected a guy who has never managed a lemonade stand to be president. They elected a bartender to congress. They elected a fake Native American to congress whose only qualification was she got a teaching job for lying for being a Native American. Kamala Harris has never run anything. Biden is a career politician. Kerry and Blinken are two antisemitic Jews who turned on the Jews and are trust fund babies who never did anything. A laundry list of DEI hires. It goes on and on. With that being said, Gaetz was a terrible pick because he’s a jackass and divisive. I think Trump did it just to send a message that he is defanging the DOJ and FBI. He will never get confirmed. Rest of his picks were great. I even like Hegseth. At least he actually fought in wars. You numbnuts were about to make a guy who lied about his service, the vice president. But at least he was a high school gym coach, right? I guess that qualifies him to run the country. Idiots.
Because of the nature of democracy, the people get the government they choose, and therefore the government they deserve. It’s wise to remember that Trump was elected by poorly educated white people, and therefore, they have done the choosing and will get what they wanted.
The final 2024 vote count (est):
Among poorly educated whites:
Trump 40 million (about 66%)
Harris 20 million
Among all others:
Harris 54 million (about 59%)
Trump 37 million
That’s how democracy works. That’s how it has always worked. In its ebb and flow there is both nobility and opportunism, both good and evil. We treasure the concept of a government of, by and for the people, but the people’s choices are not optimal, and we have to be prepared for the inevitable mistakes in either direction. For every strong-willed Roosevelt there is a spineless Buchanan; for every self-sacrificing Washington, there is an avaricious Trump.
To cite Mencken:
“As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
As I’ve noted before, that was sure to happen in the 2020 election, no matter which of them won.
The moral arc of the universe may bend toward justice, as Dr. King claimed, but it takes many detours. I try to retain hope that we yet have a Lincoln hidden among us, by my time is running out to witness his or her ascent.
I would certainly question these numbers. Especially in the knowledge that you can see much more intelligent people in various segments of the internet these days, even among those who don’t go into debt with student loans…
Nowadays, thanks to the knowledge acquired on the Internet, you can live at a higher standard of living than with a degree obtained at universities.
The Republican sweep was possible because the last 4 years were horrible, the campaign was horrible, the Biden presidency was horrible, and the worst of all was the candidate Kamala Harris.
All this while spending crazy amounts of money on the campaign. Paying millions of dollars to celebrities etc.
The Democrats had every opportunity to win with a sweep this year.
If there is no turning point in the Democrats’ strategy now, this will be expected in 4 years. However, if the Republicans are able to implement what they said in their campaign, then overall the voters will be satisfied.
Perhaps this year’s election was the turning point in politics in the USA, where there will be far more fixed Republican voters than fixed Democrats.
You can question the facts, but of course you would be wrong. That’s just the way it is. All people are entitled to their own opinions, but not their own set of facts.
Okay, so let’s look at another example. Every 4 years, near the elections, the American economy always pumps, but all parts of the world know that these are manipulated data and do not mean that the American economy is currently good.
So, based on the data, an economy may be good, but in reality it is not, because these are manipulated data.
After that, how could I take the data you wrote seriously?
Especially after what the main stream media has done in recent months…
A lot of people think it’s a coincidence that people prefer to escape to X from the main stream media, but it’s absolutely not.
It became the no. 1 news reading platform in many countries.
In fact, it looks like you can even win elections there…
Well, probably the best reason to take it seriously is that it is accurate and factual.
Why would you even be surprised? That’s just how democracy works. The skill to manipulate the poorly educated can be the most important skill anyone can have in a democracy because those voters live in a fact-free bubble, and when they are exposed to facts and don’t like them, they claim there must be some kind of conspiracy. Those with the least education are also likely to be faring the worst financially, which makes them especially vulnerable to ideologies that blame others (immigrants, Jews, erc.) for their misfortune. Trump has absolutely mastered this. He may have been a C student, but he gets an A+ for audience manipulation.
That block of white American voters without degrees has long been the key to winning elections. That’s old hat. What has changed is that they used to vote Democratic, while prosperous, educated suburban voters voted Republican. Dukakis won the non-degreed vote, for example, but was utterly destroyed in all the educated segments. Both JFK and LBJ won the white, non-degreed bloc by the same sort of landslide proportions that Trump now claims, but Ronald Reagan stole away a majority of that vote in the 1980s. That bloc wavered back to Dukakis and Clinton temporarily, but ever since then, the Democratic party has increasingly lost its ability to communicate with those voters. They are culturally Red, despite the Democrats unwavering support for unions.
Anyway, you don’t even need to see hard facts to understand that Trump’s hard-core base consists of poorly educated white people. You just have to watch one of his rallies, or listen to the interviews outside of them.
That doesn’t mean that every Trump voter is poorly educated, nor does it mean that all Harris voters are intelligent, nor does it mean that poorly educated people are unintelligent (Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates, for example, are in the class of white people without degrees.) It just means what it is: that Trump would win by a landslide if only non-degreed white people could vote, and would lose by a landslide if that group could not vote.
Yeah this is the time we’re moving into: what are facts, really? How dare they contradict my lucky astrology mood watch? My bullshit is as good as your knowledge.
The 2024 electorate elected a man convicted of 34 felonies, etc, etc, etc iow Trump was right when he said he could kill someone and it wouldn’t matter. 😮
Indeed, the poorly educated truly love/worship him. ✔
And so it goes …
Ahh, I see what you mean, but as you say, these things can change. Trends that can change every 8-10 years or even faster.
The current voting was so smooth and clear that it was not decided by education at all.
One of the most decisive factors was dissatisfaction. A lot of basically democratic voters could be seen in the video recordings during the campaign and also on X, where they said that they were not satisfied with the direction and the present and future vision. But this is not surprising, it is the same in Europe.
“Democrat” voters do not go to vote or vote for the opposition.
The decisive factor also includes the incomprehensible economic policy, over-regulation, migration and this woke neo-liberalism bullshit.
Many people still don’t understand how Trump could win and why, even though I really said these weeks before.
It is a very serious problem that the main stream media does not convey reality in most cases. And this is also a huge problem in Europe.
In fact, even the word democracy itself can be questioned in the politics of the Democratic Party. Rather, it can be called aggressive neo-liberalism, as they call it on this continent.
It would be worthwhile for Americans to pay attention to Europe, because approx. 750 million people live and politically the situation is very similar.
As I recall Trump’s qualification was pretty much that he played a great businessman on a scripted TV show, despite having pretty much blown everything out his ass when he was an actual businessman.
Amazing that actual successful sharks in the casino business like Adelson and Wynn ever backed him after being able to see him close up as a “great businessman”.
At least Mr. McDonald had the integrity to recognize his lack of qualifications. If only that were true with the actual nominees.
Muh credentials
Coming from people who nominated an ugly negress that fucked her way to the top
Why, what a delightful person you aren’t, cracker. And how blatantly, right out in the open racist and hateful. A genuine dyed in the wool Trumper. Thanks for reminding us of exactly what his most faithful followers are like. And before you reply, remember, from your point of view, this is all praise.
It really says something that RFK Jr. as Health Secretary is not his worst pick. Maybe not even his second worst or his third worst – albeit the point is arguable based on the degree of damage that practically will be done.
It is becoming almost a comedy. Imagine the bullshit you would hear listening in on a Cabinet meeting.
Make Polio Great Again!
Soon: Kennedy’s brain worm to head the CDC.
It will need to get a decent meal first.
The ‘Greak’ works with the comedy. Black comedy I will grant you.
Did it ever occur to “everyone” that these cabinet/administration picks are truly the best folk he can find iow after Trump’s 1st 4 yrs who the fuck would ever want to work for him except sycophantic, cuckold fools?
Yielding back the balance of my time …
It’s only a matter of time before he starts to nominate imaginary people. “My new Secretaries of State and Treasury are John Barron and David Dennison.”
…and nominate them to imaginary positions – Hannibal Lecter for Secretary of Bringing Me a Nice Cold Diet Coke, Freddy Krueger for Secretary of Covfefe, Hannah Montana for Secretary of Getting Melania to Put Out. For Me., etc etc