The title is misleading. He obviously thinks that the photos don’t speak enough because he has decided to accompany each photo with volumes of prose.
(This is a regular series on that site.)
It turns out I may be a female frog.
Female Frogs Fake Their Death To Avoid Mating With Males
I’m sure I’ve repeated this story as often as an Alzheimer’s patient, but for the record, I once faked my death to break up with a clingy girlfriend. My friends in that city tell me that she still places flowers on my grave.
Come to think of it, I also faked my death once to avoid a Celine Dion concert. Oh, and maybe a few other times. As I recall, there was a time when the biggest category in my expense budget was tombstones.
And last year I received an award for my contributions from the Society of American Florists. In the award presentation they revealed that I was single-handedly responsible for the “flowering” of their industry.
“New Dinosaur Found Under Dinosaur Museum”
Here’s one more “not The Onion” story.
Finding a dinosaur is just like finding your gloves. Nobody ever looks in the glove compartment.
“Former Patriot Details How Tom Brady Powdered His Center’s Buttocks”
New England center Ted Karras reveals the length that the legendary QB would go to avoid taking sweaty snaps.
Once again, this story is real, not from The Onion.
Playing cowboy is different in Japan
Japan Urgently Recalls 16,000 Toy Pistols Capable of Firing Real Ammunition
Tour de France route changed because of diseased cows
??? I’m not sure why a bunch of dead cows altered the race. Were they in the road?
The cows were … “culled,” as they wrote, because “slaughtered” is so direct.
That reminds me of the famous politically correct cowboy, Texas John Cull.
Texas John Slaughter had a theme song:
Texas John Slaughter
Made ’em do what they oughta
And if they didn’t, they died
Texas John Cull also had one:
Texas John Cull
His requests were quite dull
If if they refused, he asked again
Oh, sure, Texas John was a wimp who always dealt with problems obliquely, but he was the manly guy in his family. His brothers, Delaware Devon and Manhattan Merrick, always ended fights by running away, crying like little girls.
Chuck E. Cheese arrested for credit card fraud
From the famous song “Chuck E’s in jail”
He was booked under his full name, Charles Edward Cheeseman.
Bail was set at 1.7 million tickets.
Kidding aside, this is a real news story, not a spoof from The Onion. The cops arrested Chuck E in front of children, which may not have been the best way to handle it.
I’ll bet you can guess the state.
No One In James Taylor Audience Has Functional Enough Knees To Give Standing Ovation
My husband and I both can’t hear too good, so we don’t know if he played ‘How Sweet It Is’ or not, but we think that song is fabulous!
10 Favorite Villains
“The villain is always the interesting character.”
I agree with the observation, but not the choices. To me the best villains are the ones who have good justifications for their villainy, and are just doing what they have to do. My favorite is Roy Batty in Blade Runner, who spoke perhaps the best monologue ever given a villain as his deathbed words:
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain. Time … to die.
Not to mention his statement to the robotics master who created his eyes:
If you could see, old man, what I have seen with your eyes …
Mica Argañaraz see-thru
Argentine model and artist Mica Argañaraz showing nipples in a see-through dress while posing at the Saint Laurent menswear Spring/Summer 2026 show during Paris Fashion Week!
Sample:
