Female Frogs Fake Their Death To Avoid Mating With Males
I’m sure I’ve repeated this story as often as an Alzheimer’s patient, but for the record, I once faked my death to break up with a clingy girlfriend. My friends in that city tell me that she still places flowers on my grave.
Come to think of it, I also faked my death once to avoid a Celine Dion concert. Oh, and maybe a few other times. As I recall, there was a time when the biggest category in my expense budget was tombstones.
And last year I received an award for my contributions from the Society of American Florists. In the award presentation they revealed that I was single-handedly responsible for the “flowering” of their industry.