“Models strut down the runway in nothing but duct tape at Miami Swim Week”

The Black Tape Project was founded by Joel Álvarez — also known as Drakhan Blackhart — who describes himself as “the world’s only body tape expert.”

I view this as a real opportunity. I have decided to enter the fast-paced world of body tape expertise, and I can’t believe how fast I have risen in this field. Because I beat the rest of you to the punch, I am, at least for this moment, the second-best body tape expert in the world! My parents would be proud. There are some eight billion people in the world, and only one guy ahead of me.

I see from #1’s name that if I want to succeed in this field, I need to have a cool name like a Game of Thrones character. Good-bye Uncle Scoopy, hello Jerys Strongarm. (Unlike the Lannisters, the Strongarms never pay their debts, and they frequently take your lunch money.)