Category: Heckuva job, Trumpy

The Secretary of Labor has resigned

Scoop, ... 44 comments.

Lori Chavez-DeRemer is now romping playfully in a farm upstate with my favorite Game of Thrones characters, Kristi Dogslayer and Pammi Burnbook, as Trump continues to replace all women and minorities. (Actually, the new nominees for Attorney General and Secretary of Labor have not been announced. The nominees could include somebody other than an obnoxious, white, Christian male, but I wouldn’t bet on it.)

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Now that she is gone, it opens up a whole new opportunity to be the most incompetent and/or corrupt person in the Trump administration. There’s tough competition for that slot.

If wagering on the next to get the axe, I wouldn’t bet on Hegseth or Bobby, since they are white Christian males.

Here are the Kalshi odds on who in the cabinet will be the next to leave

Tulsi Gabbard, Director of National Intelligence: 36%
Howard Lutnick, Secretary of Commerce 22%

Here are the Polymarket odds for who will leave the administration before 2027:

Kash Patel 87%
Kristi Noem (from her new job) 56%
Tulsi Gabbard 51%
Howard Lutnick 50%
Lee Zeldin 43%
Pete Hegseth 43%
Karoline Leavitt 39%
Tom Homan 39%
David Sacks 37%
Susie Wiles 32%
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. 30%

I had to look up David Sacks. Even after finding out who he is, I still don’t know why he is on the list, because he left his position on March 26th.

Per CNBC that day: “Trump’s AI and crypto czar David Sacks said his role as a special government employee has ended.” He is still on the President’s Council of Advisers on Science & Technology. I suppose that’s the position we’re betting on. That seems too obscure to be on the board. (???)

Trump warns Iran if they ignore his ultimatum, he’ll issue a different ultimatum.

Scoop, ... 35 comments.

They only have two days to comply, or face a strongly-worded Truth giving them fourteen days.

And then – the comfy chair!

Finally, if they still will not open the Strait of Hormuz, he will have Elon replace all of their broadcasting and internet with “Jay Leno’s Garage.”

Lay down your weapons now or I will have no choice but to ask you to lay down your weapons later. You may think I’m bluffing, but believe me when I say you will feel the full weight of my social media posts.

President Donald J. Trump explains why he decided to attack Iran.

Scoop, ... 48 comments.

This is not AI or some satirical mash-up.

I don’t often agree with him, but when he’s right, he’s right.

You know what? Another of my illusions has been shattered. I’m starting to feel that the prestigious FIFA Peace Prize might not be legit.

To tell the truth, I find it hard to follow this new war. Under normal circumstances, whenever there is a difference between Trump’s story and somebody else’s, you can just assume that the other side’s story is the correct one. That works nearly 100% of the time. But this war is different. The leaders of Iran lie and boast just as much as Trump, so how do you read it? If they agree, for example, does that mean they are both lying, and therefore the Ayatollah is still alive? Or should we assume that they are both telling the truth? But by the rules of logic, if all sides are telling the truth, and Trump is speaking for one of the sides, therefore Trump is telling the truth. But Trump never tells the truth.

See what I mean? It’s the Mudd’s Robots Dilemma!

Where is Captain Kirk to sort this out?

What should Americans call Danish pastries now?

Scoop, ... 31 comments.

When Bush the Younger was mad at France for whatever reason, we were supposed to call our favorite fast food side dish “Freedom Fries.” Now we seem to be headed to war with Denmark. So what should we call Danish pastries? Patriot Pastries?

Also, do we have to burn our Hans Christian Andersen books? And what will the tariff be on LEGOs, cans of butter cookies, and foul-tasting licorice? It’s gotta be, what, a million percent?

Whatever the reason, after we conquer them, I don’t think they’ll be putting blackberries and truffles on their hot dogs any more. It’s time they used mustard, as Jesus taught.

You know what I just realized? Denmark is one of the few countries in the world that still has a king, which means that after we kidnap their royal family and send them to Guantanamo, Trump can declare himself “acting king of Denmark.” I can see him making that permanent!

And then there’s Greenland, which must be conquered because it is harboring weapons of mass destruction. Well, one weapon. A club. But it’s a big club. And technically it is capable of mass destruction, as it can kill more than one seal.

Donald Trump actually shared this on Truth Social

Scoop, ... 19 comments.

image host

To be completely fair, he is already the greatest president in the history of Venezuela.

He is now the second American to be president of two countries. If I remember right, the adventurer William Walker was the President of two different nations: Nicaragua, and the short-lived Republic of Lower California.

He wanted to create a new type of society organized by race and caste and dominated by white supremacy.

To clarify, that is a quote about Walker.

Trump reverses stance on Epstein files, urges Republicans to vote for releasing them

Scoop, ... 41 comments.

I didn’t see that coming, but it’s the smart play.

The Democrats had set a trap for House Republicans when Trump was opposing the bill

If they voted to release, they risked Trump’s ire, and the possibility that he would primary them with a wild-eyed nutbag incapable of winning the general election.

If they voted against the release, they would go to their next election as a defender of pedophiles.

Either way, it was a win for Democrats looking forward to the mid-terms.

It was also a loss for Trump personally, since an estimated 100 Republicans were prepared to vote for release, against his wishes.

The Republicans tried to avoid the trap by calling for the bill to pass by unanimous consent, but the Democrats declined that deal, insisting that every Republican vote on the record.

The Republicans tried to spin that by saying that the Democrats didn’t really want the files released, since they offered to pass it unanimously. Nobody bought that line of argument, which was truly absurd, since Democrats were behind the release 100%.

Just when it looked as if the Republicans were trapped, and Trump would be embarrassed by an estimated 100 Republicans voting against his wishes, Trump came to the rescue by reversing course and encouraging them all to vote for it.

That was smart politics.

This move was just about the VOTE to release, not the release itself. He gave himself and the Republicans a slick escape from the trap. If he really wanted the files released, he could have done that tonight, on his own authority. He don’t need no stinkin’ vote.

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The question now is: “What is his next step?” Nobody can say at this point.

1. Will he try to keep the Senate from passing it or bringing it to the floor?
2. Will he ask Senators to pass it, then veto it?
3. Will he let the bill pass, then withhold the files because they are important to “an ongoing investigation”? (Thus using this or some other lame excuse to drag it through the courts for months or years.)
4. Has he already had his lickspittles destroy or redact everything detrimental to himself, and is therefore comfortable with releasing everything remaining?
5. Is he sincere about releasing everything, including items that embarrass him?

It’s probably not number 5, but nobody is sure what he plans to do. Stay tuned.

“Justice Department to Investigate Epstein Ties, but Not to Trump”

Scoop, ... 81 comments.

This is actually a brilliant chess move on Trump’s part, and the press hasn’t figured it out yet. I think that the news media have so far misinterpreted what is going on here. It has been portrayed as retaliation and deflection for the recent leaks involving him, and that may be true, but in fact, that’s not the real purpose, nor what makes it so clever.

The brilliance behind it is that the FBI cannot release files or evidence related to an ongoing investigation. They can’t even comment on it. By opening an investigation, he has created a pretext to keep the files locked away (probably forever), and for nobody in the administration to answer any questions about it. If asked, they can simply reply, “We can’t comment on an ongoing investigation.”

Once again – a scam with a real touch of genius!

Oh, you poor, sappy liberals, thinking you will ever get your hands on those files! It’s so adorable!

Of course, the legislative branch may eventually demand their release. (I doubt that will pass in the Senate, but it’s possible). In the unlikely event that passes both houses and survives a veto, that will still result in delay after delay as the administration fights it in the courts. If it comes down to the very last resort, and the Supreme Court rules he has to surrender the files … well …

The Trump modus operandi has always been to delay, deflect, deny, delay some more, and then, while the delaying tactics are occurring, to destroy documents mandated under discovery, essentially daring the courts to do anything about it. This will probably play out the same. If Trump has exhausted every other tactic to avoid releasing all of the files, he can just order some loyalists to destroy them, and there’s basically nothing anybody can do about it once it is a fait accompli. (Just like the destruction of the East Wing.) You either accept it or impeach/convict, and I don’t see the impeachment route as realistic, given the lack of backbone among Republicans in Congress, and the need for 67 votes in the Senate.

Trump 2028 – legally and constitutionally

Scoop, ... 68 comments.

I think there is one completely constitutional way Trump could serve more terms.

It’s not the Vice-President loophole, because that seems to be closed by the 22hd Amendment, which limits who can be elected, and the 12th Amendment, which implies that anybody ineligible to run for President is automatically ineligible to run for Vice-President.

However …

The 22nd Amendment only limits being elected President. One can become President without running for the office (or running for the Vice-Presidency as a President in waiting). In fact, one can become President without running for anything at all, not even Congress.

Here’s how:

If the President and Vice-President can’t continue for some reason, the Speaker of the House becomes President. But the Speaker is not constitutionally required to be a member of the House. Traditionally, the House has elected one of its own as Speaker, but in fact they can elect almost anyone. The Constitution does say there are requirements to serve in the House, and being Speaker would constitute service, so the Speaker would have to be at least 25 years old and a citizen for at least seven years. That’s the only limitation. The House may choose Britney Spears or Mark David Chapman – or Donald Trump.

That means if two loyal Trump lickspittles are elected President and Vice-President, let’s say Don Jr and Eric, with the slogan “a vote for me is a vote for dad,” and if Republicans can hold the House, then the House can choose Trump as Speaker, the kids can resign, and Trump would legally and constitutionally be President again.

If the House turns blue, then Don Jr. is President (cough, wink-wink) but we all know who’s really in charge.