Well, it’s not clear. It may be today or tomorrow in your area. We don’t know which time zone God uses. Check local listings.
(Or I guess you can just look outside and see if there are rivers of blood, swarms of locusts, dead rising from the grave, etc.)
Given that only faithful Christians will be assumed into heaven, Other Crap should not be affected, although the floods, earthquakes, exploding volcanoes, landslides and tidal waves may cause some interruptions in your internet connectivity.
I’m looking forward to it. Finally we would rid ourselves of the “true” believers! Should make things so much better.
It should reinstate the Democratic majority in the Congress.
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Oh, wait. I think only sincere Christians get raptured. Hypocrites have to stay down here with the rest of us and the famines. Carry on, Congress.
Uh oh I just started to hear Blondie outside, guess it was real …
To be fair to Christians, this is a fringe group.
Let’s hope so. It’s pretty unlikely that 2.6 billion Christians would buy into this.
A long while ago I worked a small temp job with teachers grading standardized tests with a degree requirement. You would be surprised how many “educators” believe in this stuff. The older ones at lunch would go on about how we’re in ‘end times’ and so on. We would read funny student essays and an older gentleman got angry when I joked about how one little kid wrote something about how Halloween is evil and the devil will get them for costumes, super offended stating its true and so on. I assume this guy was a Jehovah WItness or some other similar group.
This was years before MAGA and going to a Catholic elementary and high school, I can definitely say the ‘death cultish’ sect has gotten much larger today. Not that any given person believes any one specific self-proclaimed prophet, but you would be surprised how many ascribe to this type of stuff in general. The us vs. them persecution complex for people living a pretty high standard of living is strong, with lots of doomsday preppers and other end timers focusing on saving their ass for a lot of the division and problems they directly cause and in conflict of the supposed morals they follow.
I would not be surprised at all at how many stupid fucking educators there are in this country. Most teachers I had were pretty useless. Another occupation filled by people that couldn’t get better paying jobs.
I thought that somewhere in the Bible it says that “no man will know the time” or something. Maybe the reason it hasn’t happened is because at least one person on Earth guesses that the rapture will happen on any given day and God doesn’t have a loophole for his own word. Another other reason is that it’s not real.
Well, sorta.
Jesus said,
“Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away. But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.” (King Jimmy version.)
“Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear. However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.” (New Living)
Some people have interpreted this to apply to the Rapture. But I suppose the disappearance of the Earth would have to happen 1,007 years after the Rapture.
I think it’s an apples and oranges thing. I think Jesus was just speaking in sweeping, but down-to-earth, metaphors. It’s probably inappropriate to use those words of Jesus to pin down the eerily specific prophecies derived from Daniel or Revelations or Thessalonians. The Rapture is not really a Jesus thing. It is cobbled together from the words of Paul and/or John of Patmos, with further reference to the Book of Daniel. (Or as I like to call him, Danny.)
For example, I don’t think many Christians believe that Heaven, too, will pass away, even though Jesus said it directly. (For the record, I think it is too ambiguous to use the word “heaven” here. In this case, I think Jesus used heaven to mean “the skies above” rather than “the kingdom of God.” I think the translator should have said “The heavens” rather than “heaven.”)
But then again, not many seem to remember that thing Jesus said about rich men being unable to enter God’s kingdom, and Jesus was quite specific about that one. People seem to cherry-pick the Jesus quotes they like.
If I were translating the Bible into modern speech, that passage would be something like, “Only the Father knows when the earth and the heavens will end, but the lessons I have taught you will endure.”
Needless to say, I will never get the job of putting the bible into modern speech, for many reasons. One of them is the same reason why the other Founders wouldn’t let Franklin draft the Declaration. I’d put jokes in it.
Or whatever bullshit they came up with at the time…
Maybe it happened but no one noticed because no one was worthy of getting sucked up.
And you can argue that the time of tribulation, marked by wars, plagues and natural disasters, has already begun. So maybe you’re on to something.
It might be worth it if Mimi Rogers shows up at my house
yet another reason Gavin Newscum will probably raise taxes in Commiefornia
Hey, look on the bright side. Compared to Trump, Newsom has a great chance of being Raptured, and then you’ll be rid of him! Of course, compared to Trump, you might have a good chance of being Raptured, and then you’d still be around Newsom. When you think about it, I guess anyone has a great chance of being Raptured compared to Trump.
OK, so Trump is not a great yardstick. I mean, if someone like Mr. Rogers is the standard, we’d only lose about one in a million, maybe less. 8,000 people, tops. Aside from the cream of the crop being gone, would we even notice the difference?
This Rapturization business seems pretty vague and ill-defined. How can anyone make plans and come up with investment strategies under such conditions? Pretty sloppy, if you ask me.
WTF? Where’s the damn Like button? What kind of platform is this, anyway?
This automotive website not only has helpful suggestions about what to do if you are Raptured while driving a car but also ideas from readers.
The one I find most intriguing is this: “But what if this is all a miscommunication and what’s actually happening is the second coming of Raptors?” Food for thought!
(BTW, I suppose most of the people who expect to be Raptured will stay put at home or at church, having already given away their Earthly possessions, But some people may be taken by surprise, much the same way that Donald Trump was when he was elected President in 2016,)
I apparently am still here.
Or are you? I have heard that the Kingdom of Heaven is almost exactly like Earth. It’s like one of those alternate Earths in the Marvel multiverse.
I’ve heard that the only way you can tell them apart is that Heaven has slightly less toffee, so the next time you’re in the candy aisle, check for the absence of Heath bars.
I am actually not a big fan of toffee, so it’s hard to say how that works out for me.
You should be glad to be rid of it!
There are actual pet-loving atheists who promise, for a nominal fee, that if the owners get raptured, the atheists will come along and take care of Sparky. They promise to stay atheist, or offer a full refund if they find god.