Some examples, for those of you who are sociopaths:
Spill a drink in the seat in front of you at the movie theater to keep anyone from sitting there.
Next time you have a flat tire, take a picture of it. Then use it to get out of the next event you don’t want to attend.
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Scoop’s note:
Why wait for a flat tire? Go to one of those air machines and deflate your tire. Photograph it, then re-inflate it.
Or you can just do what I do – miss the event by faking your own death. It used to be that local newspapers would take death notices from official sources, but these days anybody can pay to publish an obituary.
“Uncle Scoop loved bad driving, bad acting and hot chicks, so it’s appropriate that he died in a car crash on his way to catch a screening of My Tutor at a Matt Lattanzi film festival. Sadly, his out-of-control car ran over a homeless hitchhiker. Most tragically, that hitchhiker turned out to be Matt Lattanzi.”
You can just substitute your own name for “Uncle Scoop.” Don’t worry, that can’t be fact-checked because nobody actually knows whether Matt Lattanzi is alive!
I’m not sure #3 is unethical, it’s just how the game is played, they raise your rates until you walk away and then offer you the deal that should’ve been on the table in the first place.
I now do this myself after my experience with Netflix. I had signed up and canceled, then got an e-mail offering me a better deal. I ignored it, and then got another offer for a deal that was so good I couldn’t say no. (The highest level of premium for the lowest level of price.)
I guess I wasn’t so smart after all, since I never use it, so they are still getting seven bucks a month from me for free, which is seven more than they were getting when I was off the program. Obviously, they only offer that deal to people who clearly aren’t interested, but can’t pass up a deal.
I’m such a fish.
Might be cheaper to buy the seat instead of the drink.
I’ve done that with a few subscription services, but I don’t even bother lying about it. I just call and tell the rep, “Look, you and I both know that if I threaten to drop your service, you’re going to counter with a discount, so let’s just cut the crap and skip to the part where you offer me a better deal.”
With my internet security company, I just turn off auto-renew and play chicken with them as the expiration date nears. The discount offers over the final days get wild.
12. Create an official looking doctor’s diagnosis for Tourette syndrome so you can can curse all you want in public
“Steal This Book” had a hack that #10 washers would work as dimes in pay phones. A kid I knew searched high and low and never found anything that worked. Since there are no pay phones now, I guess he can stop searching