The band announced the pressing on Instagram, where member Lauren Hester is seen in a lab holding the manufactured, pink vinyl. She declared:
“I want you to cast your mind back to the fabulous year of 2020. There was one news story that completely dominated the headlines: Gwyneth Paltrow released a candle that smelt like her vagina. This was potentially the greatest thing anyone had ever done.”
Hester explains that these candles now sell for over $700 each, making them inaccessible to the average person. The band decided to take things into their own hands and created the first scratch-and-sniff vinyl. Claiming that the tall order of almost a thousand dollars to smell the candle is classist, Hester continued:
“We at Private Function think that every working-class person deserves to have access to the smell 24 hours a day.”
While I appreciate them thinking about the hoi polloi and all, how do I know that it actually smells like Gwyneth’s vagina? How do I know that it isn’t just some skank aussie vagina? I mean, I don’t want to get ripped off.
I couldn’t tell the difference between the candle and a tin of herring if you really want to save a buck