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I hope you and your family have a merry and blessed Shatmas Day
“You! You there!” he shouted to a boy on the street. “What day is this?” The boy gave a puzzled look. “It’s Shatmas, sir.” “Good! I haven’t missed it. Here, lad. There’s a big, juicy turkey of a Shatner movie in the bargain bin at Walmart. Buy it and deliver…
At last – a cycling event I could win
The Tour de Donut is a unique bicycle event, where your ability to eat donuts is just as important as your ability to ride your bicycle fast. The event is a mass start timed ride where riders visit donut stops and eat donuts. Based on their explanation of the rules,…
German town votes to exterminate pigeons
“The falconer will lure the birds into a trap, hit them over the head with a wooden stick to stun them, and then break their necks.” Needless to say, animal rights activists were appalled by this plan. They didn’t ask me, but if they did, I’d say that Germany has…

Helen Keller got me.
The best bad parking note I ever heard of was mentioned in one of Russell Baker’s articles: “If this car is ever parked here again, it will be destroyed”. I mean, it probably wouldn’t happen, but who really wants to find out? Baker lived in New York City. Like Chicago, parking is a very serious matter there.