That felony, commonly called the Ahab Law, is very specific and rarely invoked.
According to his daughter, Kick:
Every time we accelerated on the highway, whale juice would pour into the windows of the car, and it was the rankest thing on the planet. We all had plastic bags over our heads with mouth holes cut out, and people on the highway were giving us the finger, but that was just normal day-to-day stuff for us.
I love this guy. The best thing about Brain Worm Boy is that there is no story about him too bizarre to be true. If you told me that he traveled to Siberia to taste tiger meat, or if you told me he proposed using trained falcons to control New York’s rat problem, I would not assume you were kidding. Like his daughter, I’d think it was just “normal day-to-day stuff” for BWB. It will be difficult for The Onion to satirize him because it’s almost impossible to come up with a headline that doesn’t sound completely believable.
I heard he farts in jars and buries them in his front yard.
Fitzgerald was right: the rich *are* different. Not better but definitely different.
Still, there are Onion possibilities, “BWB gets elected president” leading the charge. Maybe “BWB goes to pick up dry-cleaning, hilarity does not ensue”.
All I can say is thank god the authorities are looking into putting this man away for driving a whale skull over state borders. Certainly nothing more important they could be doing. They certainly care about us and only do things that are in our best interests. They have absolutely no agendas that could lead to any kind of personal gain and absolutely no desire to destroy any political opponents. What a wonderful fucking country we live in.
He probably should be “put away,” but not in a jail cell. That incident happened long ago and hurt nobody.
But that lad is missin’ a few face cards from his deck.
As we used to say in Texas, “The gate’s down and the bell’s ringin’, but his train ain’t comin’.”
I’m pretty sure the whale wasn’t thrilled.
The whale, being dead, was not bothered.
Batshit crazy…totally.
I hope someday before I die, we return to the time when clearly insane people aren’t serious presidential contenders.
Keep hope alive, but this sure ain’t the year.
What?
I actually saw him speak, many years ago (1988), at an environmental law forum in White Plains NY. He was pretty impressive as a speaker on environmental issues at the time, even inspiring. But that was before he lost his mind, and his voice.
What’s really disturbing is the media’s constant attempt to assassinate this man’s character simply because he doesn’t fall in line. This linked article brought up the fake bbq dog incident from a couple of months ago. The “bbq dog” that he supposedly ate turned out to be a goat. The media ran with the story and never corrected it. And now here it is mentioned again. And he took a dead whale’s skull years ago and some environmental orgs are mad, yet they are ok with offshore wind farms decimating the whale population? Please.
Does anybody else think he sounds like Katherine Hepburn?
Henburp, more like.
The man’s a rich anti-vax whackjob with weird hobbies, which is nobody else’s business until he runs for president.Can’t fault the media for reporting. I hadn’t heard about the BBQ dog thing; sounds like they screwed him a little there. But I hadn’t heard about it, so it’s not like JD and his (non-)couch-fucking.
Mainly: politics is not for the thin-skinned.
“Politics is not for the thin-skinned.”
I dunno. DJT seems to be pretty successful at it.