In a nationwide poll conducted by Pew Research Center, 84% of respondents called the comic unpresidential and said they were disturbed by the Time Pedophiles traveling back to ancient Egypt in the “Groom Like An Egyptian” storyline and getting two breastlike pyramids constructed in their honor for molesting 14-year-old Cleopatra. In addition, 77% were appalled by the Time Pedophiles rescuing Joan of Arc from being burnt at the stake only to heave her back into the blaze upon learning she was 19.
Child sex offenders Don and Jeff flee a T-Rex, remodel the Great Sphinx of Giza in Jeff’s image, fight samurai, and briefly rescue Joan of Arc.
(The Onion)
TrutherBob and MAGA2028 would diddle themselves until they had blisters if this was a real thing. Pedo lovers.
For now, the 8x10s of JD Vance in full mascara will have to do.
I always worry when Scoop posts these Onion stories about our President, because you libs have such a tenuous grip on reality, I worry you won’t be able to spot obvious satire.
Seeing any Trunt try to talk about “reality” is always the height of irony, especially when it’s an inbred fuckwit like MAGA2028 and this other moron.
You both worship a senile old grifter that fucks underage kids. Full stop.
The jokes don’t so much write themselves as dust off old OJ jokes and re-word them slightly.
Ghislaine would be the trusty sidekick/Robin figure, I guess. Watch for the action figures in better toy stores.
Better? I would have thought “sleazier”. Or just “MAGA”. Oh, I would have added “and on Amazon!” as well.
Jeff Bezos doesn’t care about how he makes his money.
PS – Maybe Maxwell would be more like Alfred?
I don’t blindly defend Trump. For example, the stuff he said about H1Bs this week was idiotic.
But the Epstein stuff is bullshit and we all know it. This is not going to take Donald Trump, it’s just another way to keep the two minutes of hate going and distract from how the Democrats just shut down the government for 40 days for absolutely no reason.
But hey, “keep em angry and dumb” still seems to be an effective strategy on the left. Whatever helps you get up in the morning.
And awaaaaaay we go! OK, let’s pretend you’re right, it’s all bullshit. This (or 6 months ago) would be the perfect time to rip the bandaid off, release the files – a year til the election. So why is the turdburglar not doing that? Dumb as he is, he’s got to see people who would normally never pay MTG or fer shitsake Rand Paul any mind going Hey maybe they’re … right?
Is this some gambit in the 5-D chess game only you and him know about, or is it a genuine fuckup?
If you want to pressure Trump, you should push this immigration issue. That is a real problem that affects real people.
The made up pedophile stuff isn’t moving the dial.
Just two small corrections:
1. Nothing about the Epstein revelations is made-up.
2. It is moving the dial.
Apart from those minor matters, you’re spot-on.
“Minor matters”. Chef’s kiss on the double entendre.
I have no doubt that cable news is telling you that this is a huge deal.
But they also told you that Biden was sharp as a tack and that Kamala was “brat”.
🤔
Once again: ; Trunts like KidfuckerBob talking about “reality” – hilarious.
Immigration? Well, Chicago ICE just pepper-sprayed a baby. Noem probably won’t even bother to slap their wrist. Worth focusing on, I guess, but I don’t see how that helps your shitty shitty cause.
Here’s the honest truth:
We don’t care. Deport them all. They have destroyed the country we grew up in.
The scary MAGA Nazis I know in real life (there are DOZENS of us!) are pissed at Trump…because he’s holding back too much. They want him to ignore judges and actually become the dictator you guys seem to think he already is.
The Epstein stuff is just the left circle-jerking because they have no policies or plans besides “hate Trump”. This was defeated in the last election. It is not a serious platform.
If you want to win voters, find real issues. I would happily back any Democrat that offers an actual solution to the immigration problem, the housing problem, the inflation problem, or any other actual problem in this country.
But all you guys do is hide your heads in the sand and occasionally call us racist for noticing things.
Well, here’s why we call Trump racist. (Not even including the testimony of the people who worked on The Apprentice.)
Trump doesn’t even bother to hide the fact that he’s racist. In fact, he goes for the Andrew Jackson-style double racism:
1) The only oppressed people he cares about are in South Africa. Guess which color they are. Now guess the colors of the oppressed people he rejects.
2) What makes it double is that those people he wants to bring in are from the only country where the white people were officially, as a matter of law, racist! So he not only determines asylum based on racism, but the only people he wants to import are more racists! In its own way, that’s sheer genius!
And, by the way, most people who have given the matter thoughtful consideration believe those people aren’t even oppressed in the first place! So when you get right down to it, Trump is basically posting a welcome sign that says, “You are entering the American immigration office. Racists are welcome. Others need not apply.”
I didn’t see the actual video of ICE pepper-spraying children (if that’s the case) that’s horrible!! But from what I understand, some of the illegal immigrants were using the kids as cover, which makes the situation even worse. I could be wrong, just what I saw on some YT channels…
And just to clarify, Scoop, I am a white male from South Africa. Your assumptions about the refugee program are not accurate. Please stop listening to all the fake news outlets. Apartheid (which was a horrible system) ended in 1994. I was just a kid back then, didn’t even know what Apartheid was… and most white South Africans today had no involvement in it whatsoever, and are 100% against it!!
Today, in 2025, South Africa currently has about 145 race-based laws against white people. Think about that. It’s a very different reality than the one often portrayed online.
Oh, and just btw, the refugee program is 100% not only for white South Africans. Please go and do your research before making those claims.
This is not from news stories, but from Trump’s actual executive order, which applies only to Afrikaners. Here it is.
Another executive order says The U.S. Refugee Admissions Program (USRAP) is not accepting any new referrals.
The group refugee program is very much 100% for white South Africans. The white South Africans are a specific exception to the refugee suspension – and they are the ONLY group excepted. All others are treated on a case-by-case basis.
That’s right. The ONLY group exception is specifically for white people from a country where a small number of white people control most of the country’s wealth! Or, as it would be called by any sane human, “racism.”
While President Trump’s new quota of 7,500 does not provide details on refugee processing, they have said that most of the refugees admitted will be Afrikaners from South Africa. The USA can accept a small number of additional people on a “case by case” basis. (Code talk for keeping the quiet part quiet.)
And I know very well when Apartheid ended. I worked for Shell in South Africa in 1995.
When you say “145 race-based laws against white people,” you are basically referring to their equivalent of “affirmative action,” programs specifically designed to benefit black people, to address what is still the single nation with the greatest economic inequality in the world.
To this day, white South Africans are about 9% of the population, and they still own roughly 65% of the country’s wealth. Mathematically, that means that the average white person has more than ten times (almost twenty times) the wealth of the average non-white person. That’s not a great case for a claim of white oppression.
On the other hand, there are people in the world that really need refugee status but can’t get it. Even the Afghan allies who supported US troops against the Taliban are having trouble. Oh, if only they were white.
I’ve yet to hear a coherent argument as to how illegal immigration is ruinous as you people say, besides they look different. I’m guessing if it were beautiful blond Nordic women migrating here, it would be an issue, right?
The use of public services as a ‘freeloader problem’ costs less than the amount of money used to build walls, employee ICE, jail them, send them back, etc. And it’s ignoring the fact that most illegal immigrants do pay taxes (by the way, how do you get out of sales tax, genius?) or are paid so little they would be eligible for tax credits. They commit less crimes than even the standard populace, so to get rid of violent criminals that are supposedly coming in, you would have a better chance randomly selecting people out of the blue to jail.
You want the real freeloaders? Look at the GDP curve in relation to income inequity. The C-suite and rich investors are bigger drains on anything in society because people are working harder for less, because of the manipulation of the system by those at the top for 45+ years. That’s how they control you dumb shits, you’re worried about some Mexican roofer who might goto the ER and don’t give a shit about the people hoarding half a trillion dollars off the backs of US infrastructure, labor, and consumer markets.
Keep watching FOX News though, Murdoch and his family appreciate the decadence you simple minded fools provide him on the daily through your cable fees and ratings.
I think you’re wasting your time engaging Trump supporters with facts. If they cared about facts, they wouldn’t be Trump supporters to begin with. They saw Jan 6 with their own eyes and they still support him.
They’ve seen him pardon high-stakes swindlers, rioters who wanted to hang the vice-president, con men, and a guy who tried to sell a U.S. Senate seat. They know those facts, and they still support him.
They’ve seen him deport harmless brown laborers, while pardoning violent white criminals.
None of those things are secrets. They are fully aware that those are facts, and they still support him.
You may want to save your efforts for independent voters, where elections are won and lost in the purple states.
You’re not wrong – I don’t expect to change anyone’s minds. I think the best goal to hope for is to expose the logic as flawed and let it stand as a record that MAGA is made up of emotional reactions to news/streamer propaganda and rhetoric with anecdotal one-offs.
There is no methodology or attempt to learn or make things better in the world, there’s visceral reactions within their echo chamber to burn everything down. I think the best result expose them as showing they react on emotion and not logic with their hypocritical decision making.
It’s always the cover-up that gets ’em. I think Trump should have just released everything on day one of his Presidency. There would have been some hubbub for a few days, then the news cycle would have moved on because there doesn’t seem to be much there. I think we’ve always known that he was aware of Epstein’s life (“… some of them were on the younger side”), and that’s really all that has come out. I have not seen any evidence that Trump himself did anything illegal, even though he was part of a shady world. By following the Roy Cohn Rules, denying, lying and covering-up, it just makes it seem that he has something to hide.
And the more he tries to hide, the guiltier he seems.
Maybe there’s more to the story…or are you all seeing?
There could be more, but I have seen no indication that there is, at least as it relates to criminal activity by Trump.
But I feel like he’s covering up for a bunch of powerful people who did participate in Epstein-related crimes.
That group of victims says that they know of nothing that implicates the Prez, but want him to release the files to expose the exploiters.
But there’s one way to find out for sure ….!!!!
Trump spent thanksgiving 2017 with Epstein while these sister-fucking MAGAs all whine “it’s old news. They weren’t friends”
Your child molesting hero sure is terrified considering there’s nothing there to hide, you gullible marks. .
“They’ve destroyed the country we grew up in” whines KidfuckerBob.
That’s it right there: Bob’s life as an inbred fuckwit sucks. He’s poor and uneducated, and he needs someone to blame for his inadequacy and failure. That’s where the brown people come in.
Your life is shit because you’re shit, KidfuckerBob. It has nothing to do with the brown people, you inbred crybaby.
Christ Bob, admitting it is the first step. Now for Step 2 – fuck off and live in Hungary or Saudi Arabia, you’ll love it.
Being able to make a living wage is an issue, but I guess that doesn’t count in your world because Ds have already taken it up and are winning on it.
See this is why we stopped listening to the left and just went on without you.
There’s no more dialogue to be had. Just this (ironically) quasi-religious outrage against anything that goes against what the TV tells you.
Good luck!
If you happen remember what it’s like to have any level of self respect don’t forget that thing I told you about eating a gun, KidFucker Bob. Do something positive for once and free us of some dead weight.
Even better, handle another of your racist podcasters before you punch your own ticket.
Better get a new tinfoil hat….it’s clear that the Epstein stuff isn’t BS unless you’re an unthinking moron.
When you say “we all know it”, regarding the Epstein facts being bullshit, what group are you referring to? Your small circle of MAGA types who have similar secrets to hide? The kind of people who stormed the Capitol on 1/6, got pardoned, and are slowly drifting back to prison for new crimes? Or were you just trying to “assume the conclusion” and win the argument by default?
Probably all three, now that I think about it.
I’m interested why you say there’s nothing much there , Scoop. Because to me, if the imbecile you Americans call president is guilty, this is exactly what it would look like. It’s also completely on brand with other observations made by and about him over the years – the beauty pageant stuff, the grab em by the pussy, observational stuff about Ivanka etc. Not enough to prosecute in a court of law but well enough to prosecute in the court of public opinion. Being president also has a burden of proof different to a normal citizen. For most of us it’s innocent until proven guilty. For the president – or other elected officials particularly of high rank – the burden of proof is for them to show they are suitable. Not in a criminal sense. But in a sense of “if you can’t prove you’re suitable, we will elect someone else”. We can all agree that paedophilia is a heinous crime. I think we can generally agree that Epstein was central to some very shady goings on. And we can also agree that the orange fella was at times close with Epstein. Given he has access to documents that could possibly go a long way towards exonerating him, I don’t feel it’s inappropriate for the court of public opinion to judge him likely guilty until proven otherwise. Not criminally, which requires more proof. But in the sense of “you can’t be president”. As a non American I feel it’s a great stain on your society and the GOP that this person can continue serving as president. And that is before the racism, the fact he is using the office as a crypto scam, the Russian ties, the nepotism etc etc.
When I say there’s probably nothing there, I mean only as it relates to Trump participating in criminal activities. I’ve seen no evidence that Trump committed any crimes in the Epstein activities. I think Trump knew exactly what was going on, but did not participate in the “massages,” the pedophilia, or the trips to the Sex Island.
However, I think that a lot of powerful people did do those things, and Trump’s effort to stop the release is probably protecting some guys who were, at best, perverts, at worst, statutory rapists. You might argue, I suppose, that preventing the release of that information is, in itself, a crime. (It might be construed as obstruction of justice, perhaps? I’m not sure whether his stonewalling meets the legal requirements to be charged as a federal crime. My guess is not, but you legal scholars can probably edify me. Biden and Merrick Garland also kept those files under wraps, so what Trump is doing not unique.)
Although, to be fair, one can’t directly compare Trump to Biden on this matter, since:
1. Biden respected the independence of DoJ.
2. Biden probably doesn’t realize that the files exist.
3. Biden probably doesn’t even realize that he exists.
I guess we could ask him, but it would probably just result in a long-winded anecdote about Cornpop.
Epstein said Trump was “evil beyond belief.” And that’s coming from Epstein.
Well, that cuts both ways. Would you rather find out that Hitler once called your dad a great guy, or that he called him evil?
See what I mean?
Nope…that’s just empty rhetoric on your part.
It’s not at all.
It means that if Epstein called me evil, it might mean that he thought I was a friend, but turned on him for his wicked ways, or it could mean that I was so corrupt that even he turned down his nose at me.
If Epstein called me a good man, it could mean that I was fun to party with in his debauchery, or it could mean that was a goody-two-shoes who just didn’t fit in.
Whether he called me good or evil, the meaning is ambiguous.
For example, Hitler thought Churchill was evil beyond belief. Does that make Churchill good for opposing Hitler’s will, or so bad that even Hitler looked down his nose at him.
To put it another way, if I had hung around with Epstein at clubs, but then cut him completely out of my life and reported him to the police when I found out he was a scumbag, he probably would have called me evil beyond belief for betraying our friendship and ratting him out.
Personally, I would be thrilled for Epstein to have called me evil beyond belief!
Does this mean Bill Clinton will go to jail with our dumbfuck dictator?
Do they have assisted-living jails?
I knew that it was satire, because there is know way that Trump has written anything. He barely reads according to his staff.
Pete Davidson has talked about Trump’s reading problems during table reads for SNL.