Anna Faris topless in What’s Your Number? (2011)

Oh, Murdoch, you crafty old king-maker, even your mysteries suck. They aren’t even as good as Mike Tyson’s, and nowhere near as good as Laura’s.

Full disclosure: I haven’t seen a single minute of any of those shows. To me they are just names in the TV listings. So don’t write in to tell me the Murdoch mysteries are the best, or that they have nothing to do with Rupert Murdoch. Either I already know or I don’t care.

And the year before that he hit .244

At the end of last year, he was the first player to have the same batting average three years in a row in 400 or more at bats, so at this point he has achieved a feat that will probably never be duplicated unless they let me play. I’m pretty sure I could hit .000 every year.

That flat batting average makes it sound like he’s making no progress, but the really important thing is this: every year in the majors he has hit more homers than the year before. His progress: 11-22-27-42-43-48.  He led the American League this season.

He’s now at the point where he gets more extra-base hits than singles. Can he keep increasing the four-baggers? Unlikely. It’s getting more difficult to improve as the bar gets higher. But don’t count him out.

… least-surprising revelation of the century so far.

He’s belligerent sober, so it’s not really unexpected, is it? This is only my observation, but I find that alcohol rarely turns truculent, confrontational people into mellow, laid-back drunks.

I have already mentally promoted this performance to my non-existent list of the top ten sexiest non-nude performances.

This week’s AP Poll

There were no major changes except that Stanford plummeted from #7 to #14 and five new teams appeared in the bottom five slots.

The L.A. Dodgers have won the NL West for the 3,000th consecutive year. Or maybe it’s really only six.

Nolan Arenado homered, so Yelich would have lost the triple crown even if he had launched one. (He finished two behind Arenado. Of course Arenado plays at Coors, so he hit 38 at home, none on the road. I’m just fuckin’ witcha. It was 23-15. Matt Carpenter actually led the NL in road homers with 23. )

Here’s an odd fact: The Dodgers won their division despite the fact that they had no pitcher with more than 11 wins.

Next up: the wild-card games. One and done for the losers.

Tuesday: Rockies vs the Cubs, winners to face the Brewers

Wednesday: A’s vs the Yankees, winners to face the Red Sox.

The very next round could feature two bitter rivalries: Cubs/Brewers and Yankees/Red Sox

That’s a lot of cleavage

Ryan Gosling as Neil Armstrong

Advance reviews are excellent. Opens October 12

Rupert Everett wrote, directed and starred in this passion project about the famed poet, playwright and wit, Oscar Wilde. In theaters October 10.