Many of these were better than the ones she used:

Some of the best lines:

– If Adrian Brody could go back in time, he would thank Baby Hitler for his career.

– Nicolas Cage is here, and so is the band of skeletons that follows him, playing ragtime jazz. (I don’t even get that one, but it made me laugh out loud.)

Nikki Glaser’s actual monologue:

Some of her best lines:

— “I do want to remind you, if you do lose tonight, please just keep in mind that the point of making art is not to win an award. The point of making art is to start a tequila brand so popular that you never have to make art again.”

— “Wicked, Queer, Nightbitch — these are not just words Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms. These are some of the incredible movies nominated tonight.”

— “Zendaya you were incredible in Dune. I woke up for all of your scenes.”

— “The Bear, The Penguin, Baby Reindeer. These are not just things found in R.F.K.’s freezer. These are TV shows nominated tonight.”

— “Selena Gomez is here as double nominee tonight … and she’s here tonight with her new fiance, Benny Blanco. And Benny Blanco is here because of the genie who granted him that wish.”

Ricky Gervais chimed in with the jokes he would have made if he had been hosting:

“What a year it’s been. Hundreds of Hollywood entertainers jumped at the chance to go to The Vatican to meet The Pope. Obviously they weren’t content with being part of only the 2nd biggest pedo ring in the world…”

“Justin Timberlake was convicted of Drunk Driving. If he’d have gone to jail he’d have heard the words ‘Sexy Back’ a lot more often.”

In other news, the ceremony also involved some awards. Quick notes:

Just a few months ago we had commented that Adrian Brody’s career was unusual in that it involved one brilliant performance in an otherwise undistinguished filmography. That’s no longer true. His outstanding performance in The Brutalist earned him a Golden Globe.

Demi Moore got the Best Actress award, and more important, also took 7th place among the year’s best nude scenes. Other performances nominated for both a Golden Globe and the prestigious Top Nude Scene Award included Nicole Kidman (18th place for Babygirl), Kate Winslet (16th place for Lee), Mikey Madison (second place for Anora), and Margaret Qualley (first place for The Substance).

The Golden Globe winners, full list

The Top Nude Scene winners, full list