This is the MiLB team that Last Week Tonight with John Oliver is going to rebrand

Scoop, ... 5 comments.

Congratulations to the Erie SeaWolves, you’re about to be called something else. We are going to research your area and come up with a new name, mascot and theme night for you that nobody else in the league has and that can only come from Erie. As per our original offer, you will get no input into this. … You will take what we have and you will like it. All you have to do is sign your contract. I promise this is going to be great.

Erie has a high crime rate, a high poverty rate, a dying inner city, a shrinking population, and dismal weather. I’ve been there and have driven through there many times, and the most positive thing I have to say is that it is not the worst place in America with a two-syllable name, courtesy of Gary, Indiana.

I Googled “famous people from Erie, Pa,” and the top answer was Alaska Thunderfuck. You think I’m joking, but that is the god’s honest truth:

image host
 

As much as I would love to hear the phrase “Go, Thunderfucks” echo through the stadium, there’s not much you can do with any of the above info:

  • The Erie Overcast? (Free Vitamin D night!)
  • The Erie Stag Nation? (Go, Harts! Ladies’ day would be Hind Day)
  • The Erie Glow? (Have you seen the rust belt at sunset?)

It will not be easy to create something affirmative. On the brighter side:

1) How about the Rust Belt Rustlers, who steal bases instead of cattle? The Rustler himself could be a cute mascot, and could spin off shirts and toys

2) Erie is sometimes called the Gem City for inexplicable reasons, so they could call them the Gem City ________. The Gem City Diamonds has a built-in baseball theme, and would actually work as a permanent name

3) I like the Erie Coincidence, and it has great potential for theme nights, but I can’t seem to come up with an idea for a mascot.

Those are OK suggestions, but they are too serious.  I think Oliver is planning something far more outlandish. The funniest gem name that I know of is fukalite, but I don’t think that the Gem City Fukalites will fly, as much as I would like it to.

Go, Fukalites! Here is your mascot, “COCK IN LIGHT SOCKET MAN.” (Because everything is on the internet somewhere. Just Google “fucking a light.”)

Harvard bought a Magna Carta copy for $27. It turned out to be an original.

Scoop, ... 12 comments.

Harvard Law School bought a copy of the Magna Carta from legal book dealer Sweet & Maxwell for $27.50 in 1946. Nearly eight decades later, two researchers have discovered it’s actually an original version.

One clarification. This is not the original Magna Carta, as implied by my headline. That was “signed” in 1215, and then parchment copies were distributed throughout the kingdom. Four of those 1215 copies are still around today, but that’s not what Harvard has. The Harvard library has a confirmation issued by Edward I in 1300. (That’s still a big deal. It’s an official 700-year-old version of the Magna Fucking Carta!)

I placed “signed” in quotations because scholars believe that the first version of the document was not signed ceremonially by King John, as represented in lore, but rather stamped with the royal seal.

What’s the buzz from Cannes 2025?

Scoop, ... 14 comments.

From the comment area:

The Cannes festival is happening now (as you may know) and many films so far seem to have had good doses of nudity and sex that seem to have been quite good and there are still more films that have not yet been released in Cannes and have potential. The most notorious so far was Jennifer Lawrence in the film Die My Love, it was confirmed that she has scenes of full frontal nudity and some wild sex scenes.

MUBI has acquired the rights to “Die My Love” in the U.S. and multiple other territories in a deal totaling $24 million. MUBI became a major player in our annual nude scene poll last year by distributing both The Substance and Motel Destino, thus giving them three of the top seven slots!

The Spot reported:

Oscar winner Jennifer Lawrence gives herself to the character with every fiber of her being, is lavish in her revealingness, and certainly goes further in her performance and what she is willing to show of her body than one would expect from a star of her stature.

Accion Cine reported:

At the heart of this harrowing nightmare is Jennifer Lawrence, who has experience as a devastated mother thanks to Aronofsky’s Mother , who is completely devoted (à la Scarlett Johansson in Under the Skin ) and completely dedicated to a project she believes in.

IndieWire reported:

Seeing “Die My Love” at Cannes, European critics will be unfazed by Lawrence’s unvarnished and very naked turn, though in the U.S., she will be commended for her “bravery.”

The Times reported:

Grace suffers from a very specific movie-borne malady, the symptoms of which include throwing herself through plate-glass doors, masturbating incessantly, crawling through the woods like a tiger, masturbating some more, smashing mirrors with her forehead and ultimately becoming so sexually frustrated that she manifests a sexy hunk on a motorbike who repeatedly rides through her garden (not a metaphor) and entices her to come over to his house and to take a spin on his mean machine (metaphor).