Did you know there used to be a Salvation Navy?

Man On Stolen Walmart Scooter Leads Police In Low-Speed Chase He hit a top speed of 2 mph. THE ARTICLE CONTINUES: 2 mph was not exactly a high speed chase, and secondly, if you’re trying to avoid police, don’t drive to a donut place. Share via: Facebook X (Twitter) LinkedIn…

“Finally, we go to war with a general who fucking rules.” Other recent Onion headlines: Bondi: ‘My Only Regret Is Not Being Able To Re-Traumatize More Victims’ Iran Imposes New ‘Cash, Grass, Or Ass’ Fee For Strait Of Hormuz Colorado Overrun With Flamboyant Children After Camp Director Notices Conversion Therapy…

Example from the list: The 2013 death of Cecil Hotel patron Elisa Lam was ruled accidental by the Los Angeles County Coroner, but people continue to dispute that report because of the strange hotel security footage — not to mention the Cecil’s reputation. The 21-year-old Canadian was found in the…