Category: Nonsense

“25 Celebrities Who Have Aged TERRIBLY!”

Scoop, ... 14 comments.

Some of the selections on the list are kind of unfair. I think David Hasselhoff looks fine for man in his 70s, probably far better than average. To me, Matt Lauer looks like what a man his age should look like, maybe better (he’s 68), and he’s still handsome for an older fellow. And it seems to me that Mick Jagger looks good and moves well for 82.

Sure, Jane Fonda looks good, and she’s even older, but she’s one in a hundred million, and she didn’t do that without some help.

That list missed the two celebrities who have aged the worst: Greta Scacchi and Bridget Fonda.

Bridget Fonda was hurt badly in a car accident and never really got back to where she was. She hasn’t acted in decades.

Greta Scacchi just decided to age naturally. Well, that and she discovered that food tastes good. She’s still working constantly, on film and on stage – but playing very different roles from the ones we remember. Here she is as Mrs. Hardcastle (orange hair, far right) in a recent production of She Stoops to Conquer.

image host

Some of the others on the list really show us the ravages of time, and remind us of our own mortality. And you never know when that age will catch up with us. When I was 64, I looked 40. Now all of a sudden, I look like Rupert Murdoch’s dad.

Memento Mori.

I have terrible news. The brewery no longer makes Fokking Beer!

Scoop, ... 2 comments.

“Fokking Vers” from the KOMPAAN Dutch Craft Beer Company

IPA – Imperial / Double

This beer is no longer being produced by the brewery.

We are all going to miss their great ads:

“Good friends, good fun, good Fokking”

“Some people prefer Fokking in the morning”

“Hell, even if you don’t like beer, you’ll love Fokking”

“What’s a party without some Fokking?”

“Nothing satisfies like a good Fokking”

“Driving and Fokking don’t mix”

“You won’t get a good Fokking in Milwaukee”

“Tonight, tonight……let it be Fokking”

“I always take my clients for a hearty Fokking… with plenty of head”.

“The difference between a good day and a bad day is Fokking!”

“Granny’s 93, and she still loves a daily Fokking”

“Our taste test shows: Budweiser C+, Fokking A”

“9 out of 10 beer drinkers prefer Fokking to just plain Busch”

Trump warns Iran if they ignore his ultimatum, he’ll issue a different ultimatum.

Scoop, ... 35 comments.

They only have two days to comply, or face a strongly-worded Truth giving them fourteen days.

And then – the comfy chair!

Finally, if they still will not open the Strait of Hormuz, he will have Elon replace all of their broadcasting and internet with “Jay Leno’s Garage.”

Lay down your weapons now or I will have no choice but to ask you to lay down your weapons later. You may think I’m bluffing, but believe me when I say you will feel the full weight of my social media posts.

The great Bill Shatner in Captain Kirk’s finest hour

Scoop, ... 9 comments.

Shat was perfect in this sketch, playing Kirk as straight as if he were in Star Trek. Bill may have his flaws as an actor, but his ability to memorize lines is not one of them. He is known as one of the quickest studies ever. It’s great to see an SNL host who came totally prepared and didn’t have to read off the cue cards in one of the show’s longest sketches (8 minutes).

Also …

I must have gotten a little dust in my eye while watching the great Phil Hartman, seen here as “Bones.”



RFK Jr. loves some raccoon dick

Scoop, ... 5 comments.

In his diary, he writes about cutting off the penis of a road-killed raccoon in 2001, while his kids waited patiently in the car, so that he could examine it later.

Damn, my parents’ road trips were so boring. The only time we ever stopped was to pick up some pralines at Stuckey’s. It would have really broken up the boredom if my dad had stopped occasionally to mutilate some woodland creatures.

The Onion’s take:

‘I Am 6 Animal Penises Away From Curing Cancer’

Bill Maher will get the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor

Scoop, ... 1 comment.

It was announced officially on March 26

The chronology:

  1. The Atlantic reported this last week.
  2. The White House flatly denied this to be true. “This is fake news. Bill Maher will NOT be getting this award,” said secretary Karoline Leavitt.
  3. But on Thursday, the center confirmed Maher was the pick.
  4. The White House explained: “This was false reporting at the time of the Atlantic’s reporting, but the situation changed.”

So they lied, then lied about whether they lied!

===

I wondered how Maher would react to receiving something that is officially named “The Donald J. Trump and John F. Kennedy Center Mark Twain Prize for American Humor,” but he seems to be OK with it.

Thank you to the Mark Twain people: I just had the award explained to me, and apparently it’s like an Emmy, except I win. I’d just like to say that it is indeed humbling to get anything named for a man who’s been thrown out of as many school libraries as Mark Twain.

Trump, of course, has never been thrown out of a library. That would require him to enter a library.

===

The capper on the story:

According to several sources, outgoing Kennedy Center president Richard Grenell wanted to give the prize to Fox News talk show host Greg Gutfeld. Then he actually watched Gutfeld’s show and asked, “When does he get to the funny stuff?”

The new SNL UK, and the History of SNL’s international versions

Scoop, ... 12 comments.

An official UK version of SNL, overseen by Lorne Michaels, debuted Saturday, with guest host Tina Fey. The show had some rough edges. The Weekend Update segment, normally a highlight of the American version, was a glaring weakness, but the Brits are better than anyone at making fun of the news, so I think they’ll probably figure out the proper rhythm for it.

The cold open was pretty good:

Here’s Tina’s monologue:


These YouTube creators did an outstanding job of researching the history of all the international versions:



By the way, their channel is terrific, one of the very best on YouTube. They have produced a summary show for each season of SNL from 1-25 and counting. (They have released an additional season every month or so, although there was a long gap between #24 and #25.) I discovered the channel a couple of years ago, and found it a wonderfully nostalgic experience to view the recaps year-by-year, not only for memories of the show, but also to see the changes in American pop culture over the years, a subject for which SNL is our time capsule.