Demonic Heritage Month began in 1921 with the adoption of a resolution authored by Belphegor Asmodeus Baker, the first Ghoul American in Congress. Baker sought to preserve the culture of his inferno-born parents, who, after passing through the gates of hell and emerging from a portal at Ellis Island, were reportedly forced to change their last name from “Bal’lak, Lord Of Death” to “Baker.”
This is quite a brilliant bit of writing from The Onion. I laughed through the entire article.
Today, over 60 million Ghoul Americans gather each year in historically demonic city centers like Chicago’s Little Pandemonium neighborhood, where they prepare a traditional dinner of necrotic limbs, dress in ceremonial blood-soaked scraps of clothing, and listen to high-pitched, satanic lullabies that cause the skulls of passersby to explode.