They are all OK, but this one is genius:

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Uncle Scoopy's world-weary musings about naked celebrities, sports, humor and other important, manly things.
The universe is expected to decay in 10⁷⁸ years, much sooner than previously thought The bad news: I misheard the lyrics to that song and partied like it was 1929. The good news: I live in the basement, so I easily survived the jump out of my window. Why facts…
“You! You there!” he shouted to a boy on the street. “What day is this?” The boy gave a puzzled look. “It’s Shatmas, sir.” “Good! I haven’t missed it. Here, lad. There’s a big, juicy turkey of a Shatner movie in the bargain bin at Walmart. Buy it and deliver…
Longhorns coach and exotic dancer Pole Assassin marry 3 years after viral monkey bite incident Ms. Assassin’s “emotional support monkey allegedly bit a trick-or-treater back on Halloween in 2021.” Damn, it makes me proud to be a Longhorn! Share via: Facebook X (Twitter) LinkedIn More
Ah, I kinda liked the Snow one.