This is a better list than usual. Carlin, Murphy and Prior are certainly reasonable and safe choices to be in the top five. I could quibble as we go down the list. I think Jimmy Carr, Joan Rivers and Greg Giraldo, who are not on the list, are/were funnier than Elayne Boosler and Lewis Black, who are. But comedy is subjective, so …
Of all the comedians I’ve ever seen, the one who made me laugh the most was Albert Brooks. He abandoned stand-up 40 or 50 years ago, but thinking about his bits still makes me laugh. On one Carson appearance, he came out claiming to be Alberto, a European elephant trainer who couldn’t get his elephant through customs, and now must get through his act using a frog instead. The trainer urges the frog through his paces with a gun and a gigantic whip, trying to get the frog to roll over or find a peanut.
Part of the act is shown here:
Albert told this anecdote about that night and Jack Benny:
I did a bit on The Tonight Show, early on, this bit Alberto and His Elephant Bimbo. I was a European elephant trainer. I came out and I was dressed up with a whip, and I was distraught because the elephant never arrived, and I said, “Look, the show must go on. The Tonight Show, all they could get me was this frog, so I will do my best.” So I took a live frog and put it through all these elephant tricks. Every time he did a trick I threw peanuts at him. And the last trick, I said, “I call this trick ‘Find the nut, boy!’ I gave the peanut to somebody on the stage. I walked over and gave it to Doc Severinsen. “The elephant will find the peanut!” I took this frog. I threw this black huge cloth over him, the one I said I used to blindfold the elephant, and this black rag started hopping all over the place till it eventually hopped over to Doc Severinsen. It actually found him. I didn’t know what the hell the frog was going to do. So after the bit I sit down at the panel, and Jack Benny was on. There was always that last two minutes where Johnny was asking people, “Thank you for coming—what do you have coming up?” And during the last commercial Jack Benny leaned over to Johnny Carson and said, “When we get back, ask me where I’m going to be, will you?” So they came back. Johnny said, “I want to thank Albert. Jack, where are you going to be performing?” And Jack Benny said, “Never mind about me—this is the funniest kid I’ve ever seen!”
Albert also did a hilarious follow-up to that bit. Many animal rights activists called NBC to claim that the act was cruel to the frog, so Albert came back in a few days (as Albert Brooks, not Alberto) to explain. After a little banter and Johnny’s set-up, the conversation went something like this:
Johnny: Well, Albert, I think people just want to know how the frog is.
Albert: Oh, he’s dead.
(Audience goes nuts.)
Johnny: I know you’re in a hurry and have to leave, so thanks for being here and taking a few minutes to clarify this situation.
(Albert shakes Johnny’s hand, waves to the audience and exits to thunderous applause.)
Here are some of his other shenanigans.
Man, I don’t know about Elayne Boosler. I would’ve put Rita Rudner before her.
And then there are guys like Tim Conway and Don Rickles, although I don’t know if they would be considered stand-ups.
I’m not sure you can call Albert Brooks a stand-up either. As my man Dalton would often say, “Opinions vary.”
I think it’s odd to have Lewis Black on the list when Sam Kinison isnt. Lewis has some solid bits but I think that it’s safe to say his stage persona was heavily influenced by Kinison. Also sad that it appears that enough people have forgotten about Bill Hicks that putting a list like this together without him on it doesn’t immediately disqualify it. I’d also like to have seen Mitch Hedberg included but if someone builds a list and only has room for one weirdo, tough to argue against Steven Wright.
Steven Wright was unique. You can read his stuff and still laugh out loud. The deadpan delivery just made it even more funny. It was just Chevy Chase with Einstein hair just mumbling out one liners.
Most of the others on the list brought something different. Although by that standard guys like Carrot Top and Gallagher should be considered too. Although Gallagher did have some funny stuff aside from the sledge-o-matic.
Sam Kinison, Bill Hicks, Steve Martin, Jimmy Kimmel, Wanda Sykes, and Lenny Bruce could all be on the list, but there are only ten slots in the top ten.
I would remove Boosler and Lewis Black from the list to make some room.I would remove Seinfeld from the list as well. Great show, but his stand-up was/is good, not great. I love Chris Rock, but I’m not convinced he’s in the top 10. Maybe yes, maybe no.
I guess you could leave Kaufman, Kimmel, and Albert Brooks off the list by arguing that what they do/did was different from stand-up comedy, but I’m not convinced that’s a fair argument.
Completely agree.
Lenny Bruce, Redd Foxx, Steve Martin, Andy Kaufman, John Leguizamo. They would all be in my top 10. I would also consider Richard Jeni. Always thought he was really underrated. I agree Brooks should be considered. Never understood why Seinfeld was funny, but I know I am in the minority there. I agree there are a some female comedians I would have put ahead of Elaine Boozler. She was great, she was ahead of her time, but not top 10 all time in my opinion. I know a lot of people can’t stand Sarah Silverman, but I saw her perform Jesus Is Magic live, and my jaw hurt from laughing. Wanda Sykes deserves some mention as well.
I am sorry Patton Oswalt is not on the list. I like him a lot. But I am glad Jim Gaffigan made the cut. I think the “of all time” idea is flawed, because comedy styles change. Bob Hope and Jack Benny were giants of comedy, but tastes move on. And who remembers Fred Allen now?
Can’t really have this party without Lenny Bruce, god rest his smutty, heroin-banging soul.
Also, why do they talk about Eddie Murphy in the past tense? (OK, Pluto Nash – I see it now.)
Who okay’ed Jim Gaffigan and left Dave Chappell off the list? While there are too many great comedians with comedic styles that have evolved over the years to ever pick a bulletproof top ten, this particular choice rankles since the two are contemporaries, but only one has ‘ hot pockets’ as their ace in the hole (lol). Interesting that Elaine Boosler is the lone female comic, and every commentator compares her to other, better female comics (not to mention earlier pioneers like Joan Rivers who managed to be relevant for far longer than most comics male or female on this list). Top ten is basically a fool’s errand, but Gaffigan. I would be less offended by Gallagher.
Chappelle is edgier, deeper and (as I see it) funnier, and Gaffigan himself has called Chappelle the greatest comic of their generation. I would include Chappelle in an all-time top twenty, and would probably exclude Gaffigan.
But Gaffigan, like him or not, is immensely popular and successful, despite being as bland as vanilla. My girlfriend, a mainstream Midwesterner, thinks Gaffigan is the funniest comic that ever lived. Go figure.
Google “What is the most popular flavor of ice cream?” and see what you get.
BTW, have you seen Gaffigan’s movie “Linoleum”? I haven’t. I can’t say why not.
If Jim Gaffigan makes the top 10 and Dave Chappelle doesn’t its a bad list.
Usually I can leave or leave Gaffigan. But “I look like this because my father was Norwegian and my mother was Elton John” is solid.
I think you have to separate these into categories.
The family-friendly guys: Gaffigan is maybe tied for #3 of all-time with Jay Leno, behind Bob Hope and Bill Cosby. I’ll give the #5 spot to Seinfeld, but reluctantly.
The sit-down stand-ups: guys who specialize in telling their jokes as talk-show guests. Tied for first are Martin Short, Rodney Dangerfield and Norm Macdonald – all comic geniuses.
Then you have the performance artists. I rank them (1) Albert Brooks; (2) Robin Williams; (3) Jim Carrey; (4) Steve Martin; (5) Andy Kaufman; (6) Sam Kinison.
In a separate category you have the weird guys: Steven Wright, Mitch Hedberg and Gilbert Gottfried. Maybe Tracy Morgan should be in this category. He always makes me laugh, but I rarely know why.
Then you have the talk show hosts as monologists: (1) Jon Stewart; (2) Jimmy Kimmel; (3) Seth Meyers; (4) Johnny Carson; (5) David Letterman; (6) Steven Colbert. None of the others have been much good at it, including Fallon and Conan. One exception: I listed Craig Ferguson elsewhere because he’s really in a category all by himself.
The roasters: Anthony Jeselnick; Jeff Ross; Nikki Glaser; Greg Giraldo. (In no special order.) And of course, the godfather of roasts: Don Rickles.
——————–
That brings us to true stand-up. The people who stand in front of a crowd and tell a wide range of jokes and stories. I rank them approximately like this:
Hall of Fame
Carlin
Murphy
Prior
Chappelle
Craig Ferguson (most underrated)
Joan Rivers
Jimmy Carr
Redd Foxx
Lenny Bruce
Bill Hicks
Some of the others mentioned by commenters are also excellent, but maybe not in the same league as the Hall of Famers. Wanda Sykes and Chris Rock are much funnier than Lenny Bruce, but Bruce was important to the genre.
(Possible exception: John Leguizamo, an interesting dark horse. He was really good at it, a great story-teller ala Craig Ferguson, but my memories of his act are vague.)
Ricky Gervais belongs in there somewhere, but he defies all the standard categories. He and Seinfeld have created superlative shows, but that’s not stand-up. He’s done his only hall-of-fame stand-up work as host of the Golden Globes, but that alone qualifies him to be mentioned somewhere. Give him an award for the best intro of a presenter in history: “I like a drink as much as the next man – unless the next man is Mel Gibson.”
John Oliver also belongs somewhere with the champions. He’s funny, but I don’t know what to call him.
This kind of analysis is why I will always keep coming back to this site. Far too well thought out for the AI generated listicle slop that started the discussion in the first place. This is as close to an unassailable top 10 as we will ever get. I do want to throw a bone to the vaudeville/roaster in betweeners like Don Rickles and Rodney Dangerfield, who still don’t get sufficient ‘Respect’ 😉
You’re right. I should have listed Rodney and Rickles in there somewhere. I’ll put Rickles in with the roasters and Rodney in with the talk show guests (for lack of a better place).
And what about Newhart?
Does Newhart have the best comic timing in history? He can turn nothing, a line that would not work for anyone else, into a big laugh. Jack Benny could do that, but Newhart is even better.
There are several people that have always made me laugh, but are not quite stand-ups. They kind of occupy special niches. I mentioned Marty Short. Newhart is another, as is Steve Allen, as is Mort Sahl. Conan O’Brien is another in his own category – a brilliant comic mind, a quick wit, a great comedy writer, but just not a good stand-up. His monologues often made me cringe and feel bad for him.
And then there’s Woody Allen, whose stand-up was brilliant and inventive, in the very top tier with Carlin and Prior, but it is now forgotten because he’s so much better known for other things, good and bad.
Comedy is personal, but I would argue that the first 10 years of Newhart’s career was as about as classic as you get get for stand-up comedy. His first album was the first (?only) stand-up album to win the Grammy for Album of the Year.
A couple of others who haven’t been mentioned: Elaine May/Mike Nichols, and Jonathan WInters. They might be in the category of “comedian’s comedians” because their impact was bigger on other comics than on audiences.
Maybe a 10 worst list? Even as a kid I thought Alan King came across as just an angry man. Seeing him on an old Sullivan show recently just reinforced that impression. And Milton Berle always seemed so desperate. Jerry Lewis? Don’t even ask (though not a stand-up). Jackie Mason was never funny to me. But take Henny Youngman, please. (Actually I thought he was funny). King of the one-liners
I kinda sorta liked Jackie Mason, but I’m with you on the others.
Colin Quinn is the worst I’ve ever seen, but he has competition: Andy Dick, Larry the Cable Guy, Pauly Shore, Yakov Smirnoff …
In the category of most desperate, do you go for Jerry Lewis, Milton Berle or Conan O’Brien?
I haven’t watched Conan very much since to me he always comes across as nervously awkward, not so much desperate. And he doesn’t seem to have overcome this despite his long career. I guess Berle would be the most attention seeking, as he always mugged it up during guest introductions, as if he didn’t want to share the spotlight.But it’s been a while since I’ve seen him or Lewis.
I remember watching many of Conan’s monologues, thinking, “What is the deal with always touching and letting the audience touch your nipples? You wrote for the Harvard Lampoon, man! You wrote for the Simpsons! You obviously have a helluva brain. Use it.”
Alan King was maybe middle of the road. But I will never forget this bit:
What made him awful is that he had the swagger and ego of a great star, but none of the talent.
But wasn’t that one of the standard personas of Borscht Belt guys? Either you were the ineffectual goofball or you were the brash know-it-all. Again, not saying he was anything special.
Horseshit!! The list is US-centric bollocks. You’s fools need to get out of your own country once and while and understand there’s a whole world out there to experience ffs. Where’s Billy Connelly, Stewart Lee, Bill Hicks, Daniel Kitson, Eddie Izzard??? Chris Rock, Seinfeld – not funny!!
I listed (the very American) Bill Hicks in my the Hall of Fame, along with non-Americans Jimmy Carr and Craig Ferguson. Ricky Gervais and John Oliver are in the same ballpark, but their true greatness is not in the stand-up niche.
I missed Billy Connolly, but I agree that he is one of the greats.
Plenty of Canadians appear on the list: Marty Short, Norm Macdonald, Jim Carrey. They are not Americans yet, but give Trump a little more time.
And we almost all agree that Seinfeld was not a great stand-up, but created a great show.