French comedienne Constance whips ’em out in an interview

And they are Jumbo Jacks.

Here’s her Wikipedia page.

And the full video, with sound, if you care. It looks like a radio program. (??!!)

I don’t know anything about her wacky French humor in general. I suppose it involves wearing a beret, impersonating Edith Piaf, and smoking unfiltered Gauloises. But exposing her giant chest on radio is comedy gold, certainly funner than radio mimes, and possibly even funnier than Ovaltine! That’s gold, Jerry! Gold!

Madison Beer performing in a see-thru top

… as the good lord intended.

The Ten Worst Performers in the history of Dancing With The Stars

This list was made before Kareem appeared on the show. I doubt that he could have unseated Master P or Steve Wozniak or Jeff Ross, but he was probably a bottom five. OK, the guy is seven feet tall and in his seventies, but even allowing for that, he barely moved.

Some of the choices seem arbitrary. Jerry Springer should not be on the list. He is no Michael Jackson, but he was fairly graceful, and finished 5th in his season. Kenny Mayne was stiff, but he had a few good moves and pretty quick feet. Compare that to Rick Perry (below), who somehow did NOT make the list.

Just for fun, because somebody actually keeps track of this stuff as if it were Ty Cobb’s batting records, here are the results by year. It’s difficult to believe that both Steve Wozniak and Master P finished ahead of three other candidates. This is because of the audience voting.

In season two Master P actually finished with the lowest judges’ score in every single week he danced (including the all-time record low of 8 points out of 30), but was saved by the viewers.

Similarly, Wozniak had the lowest score in three of his four performances in season eight, but was a fan favorite, probably with more than a hint of irony. I think people wanted to keep him in just to see how many laughs he could continue to supply. (By the way, he finished lowest among the live performances in the other week as well, but caught a break when Steve-O injured his back and could not perform.)

Rick Perry also had the lowest score each week he … er … performed.

You live in Pittsburgh and you want to read the Saturday paper? Tough luck.

Same problem occurs on Tuesday. You want to see how the Pirates did on Monday or Friday? Check the internet, bubba. (Hint: just assume they lost.)

The Pittsburgh metropolitan area has more than two million people, making it the largest American metro without a daily newspaper.

Mountain Dew Tells All of Scotland to Masturbate for ‘Epic Thrills’

I certainly understand the connection between Diet Mountain Dew and jerking off. They are definitely two of my favorite things.

Either way, it’s called “doing the Dew.”

Diet Dew is also part of my favorite mixed drink. Combined with Dewars, it forms The Double Dews, a beverage I imbibe to honor my personal hero, Dalton, the main man of The Double Deuce honky-tonk in Road House, the greatest movie ever made.

Or at least I would imbibe it if I drank alcohol, which I don’t.

But if I did …

Vatican Officials Quietly Paint Over Part Of Sistine Chapel Where Michelangelo Depicted Adam Fingering Cherub

(It’s The Onion)

I’m always ready for another look at Betty Gilpin nude in GLOW [s2e7]

Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s booty in the latest season of Fargo

And a nice booty it is. Although this was the full extent of the scene, her bottom was so popular that our voters chose this as one of our Top Nude Scenes of 2017.

Sofia Suescun topless at the beach

I had to look this one up. She’s a reality star who was born in Pamplona, Spain, where they run the bulls. She won one of the foreign Big Brother competitions.

Indian actress Aditi Rao Hydari photoshoot for GQ

Sexy and beautiful, but no nudity.