Vatican to let the internet decide next pope’s name

Scoop, ... 17 comments.

Popey McPopeface?

As you can guess, I cast my vote for Pope Dalton I, after my hero, although I considered Pope Shatner I. Also, I don’t think there has ever been a Pope Dwayne, and there definitely should be.

Some of the leading choices so far:

Pope Pedo 2 (oops, “accidently” mistyped Pedro 2) 1
Pope Ourri
Pope Ogigio 2
Pope George-Ringo, to bookend John-Paul
Pope Gert-Frobe
Popey Gaga
Pope Mobile
Hop-on Pope
Pope Randy “Macho Man”
Pope Tarts
Pope Generoso 3
Pope Springs Eternal

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Footnote 1: As you know, the very first pope was named Pedro, the name Jesus gave him. There has never been another.

Footnote 2: If you understand this joke, you are old and have a hell of a memory. If you don’t, Ed Sullivan will explain it to you.

Footnote 3: That actually sounds like a real pope name, but Generoso Pope Jr. is the guy who founded the National Enquirer.

(It’s a spoof. I hate having to type that, but somebody will post it in the comments if I don’t, because they think the rest of us would never figure it out on our own.)

Olivia Baglivi topless in the season two premiere of Memento Mori

Scoop, ... no comments.

Crime series from Spain.

The murder of a young woman who has appeared mutilated and with a poem hidden in her mouth, causes the visceral inspector Sancho to begin an investigation, just when he had requested the transfer from Valladolid. Little does he know that Augusto, the man he is looking for, an enigmatic young man with an impeccable appearance, is at that moment looking for a woman who seems to be linked to his dark past. Armando Lopategui, alias “Carapocha”, a psychologist who is an expert in multiple murderers, appears in Valladolid to help Inspector Sancho in his investigations


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Film clips

Here is some good news

Scoop, ... 12 comments.

The good news: In the process of discussing the Kozak girls, the topic of Dream On came up – and I found that the show is now streaming for free (with ads) on Roku. Prior to this, only seasons 1 and 2 were available, and even that incomplete collection would set you back 80 bucks.

The even better news: it’s the original HBO version, with the nudity, not the watered-down, censored Comedy Central edits.

Here’s the Kozak episode, for example.

Years ago, I reviewed every season and created a full list of who got naked in each one. (At the time, all of the clips were poor quality.)

Dr. Caren Kaye in My Tutor (1983)

Scoop, ... 6 comments.

She is remembered quite vividly for a person who retired from acting more than 30 years ago, thanks to a nude performance in the Pantheon itself. It was the early 80s, when mainstream theatrical movies could be made solely for the purpose of titillating entertainment. Oh, how innocent we were.

Could there be a straight male born in the first quarter-century after the great war who does not remember this performance fondly? I’m guessing I wasn’t the only one who had a crush on her.


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Film clips

From the golden age of youthpolitation – early to mid 80s – comes Caren’s epic “older woman” to seduce her fresh-faced French student, played by Matt Lattanzi.

Matt who?

Our list of the world’s luckiest guys must include Matt Lattanzi, who not only scored the lead in this film, but somehow managed to wed Olivia Newton John – and he accomplished it all with absolutely zero talent. We have mentioned the luck of Pete Davidson, Dax Shepard and Brad Hall, but this guy tops them all in the four leaf clover department. Compared to him, Brad Hall is the second coming of Orson Welles and Pete Davidson is the new Richard Pryor. Lattanzi was arguably the worst actor in the history of acting, but he was handsome, and must have had some kind of magic, because he had a life that many of us would envy.

Well PART of his life, anyway.

His career really had ups and downs. About a decade after this film, he was working on a construction crew. Then he scored a minor comeback as a soap star, only to fall back on his face again. The last I heard, he was living somewhere off the grid. Even his own daughter rarely posts pics of him on social media. Here’s what he looks like today.

I have found his obscurity useful. For example, I mentioned him (and this movie) in my obit when I faked my own death to break up with a stalker:

“Uncle Scoop loved bad driving, bad acting and hot chicks, so it’s appropriate that he died in a car crash on his way to catch a screening of My Tutor at a Matt Lattanzi film festival. Sadly, his out-of-control car ran over a hitchhiker. Most tragically, that hitchhiker turned out to be Matt Lattanzi.”

I didn’t worry about a fact-check because nobody actually knows whether Matt Lattanzi is alive, and he’ll never see it if he lives in a hollowed-out tree on an Amish farm.

Chloe Lattanzi, daughter of Matt and Olivia, did some singing and acting, but never really got her career rolling. She recently had a tiny part in one of those Sharknado movies where careers go to die. She has managed to make the gossip mags from time to time, but for things she would not like publicized, like addiction and bad plastic surgery.

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As for Caren Kaye, she got a bunch of advanced degrees and became Dr. Caren Kaye, psychologist, and she looks terrific at 74. It appears she survived showbiz to become a well-adjusted person with a long, happy marriage, following in the footsteps of her own parents. Some years ago she wrote a LinkedIn article about those parents, who were married for an incredible 68 years.