Sarah Miles, Vanessa Redgrave and others naked in Steaming (1985)

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Female frequenters of a steam room decide to fight its closure.

In his prime, Joseph Losey directed some fine films like The Go-Between, The Servant and King and Country. It’s a shame that his last film had to be this one. It’s a stage play that was not at all “opened up” by its journey to the screen. It’s still essentially a bunch of people in a single set speaking artificial stage dialogue. If the women kept their towels on, this would be an utterly unwatchable film.

But they don’t, so …

Sarah Miles

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Vanessa Redgrave

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Patti Love

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Felicity Dean

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Sally Sagoe

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Film clips here

The entire film is online for free on Tubi

Kyle Schwarber rips four homers against the Braves

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In the long history of major league baseball, about 150 years, this is only the 21st time a player has hit four homers in a game. Three of those have happened this year, including one a month ago. (Eugenio Suarez did it in April; Nick Kurtz in July.)

The list of players to have accomplished it includes some of the all-time greats like Lou Gehrig, Ed Delahanty and Willie Mays. It also includes Scooter Gennett, who hit just 87 in his career, and Bobby Lowe, a 150-pound middle infielder who topped out at 71.

No player has ever done it twice.

  • Schwarber was only the fourth player in history to come to bat again after hitting four homers, thus gaining a chance at a fifth. (In 2002, Mike Cameron got two more at bats after hitting four homers. That’s the only time that has happened.)
  • Weirdly enough, those are Schwarber’s only four hits in his last seven games!
  • Schwarber leads the majors this year with 119 RBI. His 49 homers lead the NL.



The nudity in Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD

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This is an utterly ridiculous Troma film from 1990. Now that I consider it, “ridiculous Troma” is redundant.

Sergeant Detective Harry Griswold, a clumsy N.Y.P.D. cop. is investigating a string of murders involving kabuki actors. While attending an amateur kabuki play, Harry witnesses thugs gun down the entire cast. In the ensuing gunfight, Harry is forcibly kissed by one of the dying actors, unknowingly becoming blessed with the powers of kabuki. Before he knows it, Griswold finds out that he has the ability to transform into Kabukiman, a colorfully dressed slapstick superhero who has the ability to fly and access to such unique weapons as heat seeking chopsticks and fatal sushi.

With the assistance of the beautiful Lotus, he helps clean up the crime-ridden streets of New York and try to stop maniacal businessman Reginald Stuart and his Goons, who plan to fulfill an ancient evil prophecy that will summon The Evil One, whose demonic powers can enslave the world.

Kabukiman is one of the least powerful superheroes, right down there with Arm-Fall-Off-Boy, who could remove his arm and beat people with it, and Kikkoman, who commanded all the powers of salty Asian sauces.

Pamela Alster

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Susan Byun

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Traci Mann

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Johnny Moronic’s clips from this film are here

Miley Cyrus has been painted

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… not like the Mona Lisa was painted, but like your first apartment was painted before you moved in.

This reminds me of a story. I was in Denmark on business with my friend Svein, enjoying a beverage or two after a long work day, and we somehow found ourselves in the company of two attractive Danish women. If you’ve been to Denmark, you realize that you don’t pick up Danish women. They pick you up. These two were suddenly at our table, after having awaited no action from us, not even a nod.

One of the women said she wanted to take me back to her place and paint me. I found this to be an unconvincing and semi-creepy pick-up line, so I chuckled and changed the subject. As I thought about it, I realized it was an intriguing idea to be immortalized on canvas. What if she became famous? Would my image be hanging in the Met? Later, as I was dancing with the other woman, I asked her whether her friend was really a painter.

“Oh, yes. She has painted some of the best barns in Denmark.”

And so my illusions were shattered. I would not be on canvas. I would actually be the canvas. Instead of posing for the delicate strokes of the next Rembrandt, I would get hosed down in russet hues by a Wagner Power Painter.

I declined the invitation.

Miley Cyrus apparently did not

In The Producers, Franz Liebkind said of Hitler, “Der Fuehrer, there was a painter! He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon. TWO COATS!” I believe Hitler could have done justice to Miley Cyrus as well.


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The sponsor that commissioned these works is named Maison Margiela. My French is weak, but I believe that means “house painter.”

I wonder how they are with barns.