Full article, September 2025
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Noah Cyrus with a see-through top and some booty for Shadowplay magazine
Full article, September 2025
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I’ll nope right outta here!
Yet another example of a talentless cretin riding on the back of a famous relative. Famous for nothing. Nikki Hilton. Emilio Estevez. Nice areolas, that’s about it. Face like Shelley Duvall after waking up in the morning with no makeup.
She’s not talentless. Both her speaking and singing voices sound identical to Miley’s. Miley is, or at least was, a lot cuter. But I question whether the world needs a second Miley, much like a second pantomime horse.
…Miley is a better singer
Noah has chosen different styles, but if she sings Miley-style songs, you seriously can’t tell them apart. If I played you clips of unfamiliar songs without the visuals, you wouldn’t know which it is.
Same thing with the low, quacky speaking voice:
I think they are both damn at what they do. Noah is no Joe Estevez. The only real problam I have with her is what I said before. How many Mileys do we need? Noah has tried to establish a separate identify, and has gone to some absurd lengths in that regard, but she has yet to find something that works.
Eh, there’s a reeking pile of shit out there for everybody to dive into and sniff and roll in if they choose to. That’s what keeps record companies and other entertainment companies going. Without the likes of your Pink Floyds, Carole Kings, Stevie Wonders, et al around anymore, there’s only vile fecal matter to choose from, unless your need for quality and soulfulness is so powerful that you’re forced to stay in the past.
This particular pile of poop has a horse face, staggeringly ugly tats, godawful hair, a man’s name, and a much more famous sister with the same last name that she glommed onto. I’m sure there’s a huge fanbase who like her stench, just like there is for Britney “Oops I cut all my hair off and took a naked shit in the living room” Spears. But like the ol’ saying goes, you can’t polish a turd.
I thought of making an Olive Oyl reference but wasn’t sure it would hit home with folks….
It’s like a race to the bottom with these two…
“I’ve got a bunch of shitty tattoos!”
“Well, I’VE got a bunch of SHITTIER tattoos!”
“I pissed in a public parking lot!”
“Well, I shaved off my eyebrows!”
etc.
Billy Ray has a lot to answer for.
Agreed. Emilio Esteves had nice areolas, but outside of making the “Emilio!” joke possible in Night at the Roxbury, I can’t really defend his work.