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Uncle Scoopy's world-weary musings about naked celebrities, sports, humor and other important, manly things.

Category: Entertainment

“I Watched Every Baseball Movie and Ranked Them by How Well the Actors Played Baseball”

Scoop, June 8, 2024 (11:27 pm)June 9, 2024 (5:10 pm) ... 3 comments.

I agree with him in general.

One place where I disagree strongly is about Field of Dreams, which he rates fairly high, but which made not the slightest effort at realistic period baseball. He is supposed to be rating historical realism as well as the realism of the action, but …

1. The kid playing young Doc Graham looks totally clueless and unathletic. The real Moonlight Graham was an excellent minor league ballplayer for many years, both before and after his brief MLB career, and was considered the fastest man in baseball, according to no less an authority than Christy Mathewson. Equally egregious – forget about historical accuracy – it’s impossible to believe that kid represents a young Burt Lancaster, except maybe at age 12. Lancaster was 6’2″ and a physical Adonis. That kid looks like a paperboy. He’d be more realistic playing Eddie Gaedel. (Nor does he resemble the real Archie Graham, who made his major league appearance in 1905, when he was 27 years old. He got his M.D. that year! He continued to play professional baseball for several years AFTER he became a doctor. Also, he was taller than average for his era at 5’11”, 170. The tall, speedy doctor in his mid-twenties would definitely not be mistaken for a paper boy. In fact, if they had cast an actor who resembled Burt Lancaster at 27, it would have been close to perfect!)

2. The filmmakers didn’t bother to figure out how the old-time ball players pronounced their names. Eddie Cicotte was “SEE-kot.” Not si-KO-tee, who was, I believe, the enemy of the Roadrunner.

3. Most important, showing how little effort went into this: the real Shoeless Joe Jackson was a left-handed batter. Elementary stuff – and they got it wrong.

I can really nerd out on other stuff. For example, the real Jackson is recorded on film, and he had a truly weird, lunging swing which is not replicated in the film. (It looks ridiculous by today’s standards.) Baseball swings in general were different in those days. They did not plant the weight back on their heels and go for a mighty hip turn. But why go into that when the filmmakers couldn’t even bother to get Jackson batting from the correct side of the plate?

That said, I LOVE Field of Dreams and I love the novel upon which it is based (Shoeless Joe). It reminds me of my own dreams, and of some great times playing ball and just having a backyard catch with my own dad, the legendary (in his own mind) Suits Sparrow. Beyond that, it’s a story about redemption and second chances – and who doesn’t relate to that? Let the man without regrets throw the first stone.

The Wild Life Of Gary Johnson, The Fake Hitman

Scoop, June 1, 2024 (7:48 pm)June 7, 2024 (11:36 am) ... 1 comment.

You have undoubtedly heard about Hit Man, the new Linklater film with a 97% rating on RT. You may not know that the Gary Johnson in the film is based on a real person, also named Gary Johnson. He was not a real hit man, but worked undercover pretending to kill for hire whenever the cops got wind of somebody seeking that service. He would meet the client while wearing a wire. As soon as the mark agreed to hire him, a swarm of cops would appear.

  • This is his story.
  • This is the lengthy Texas Monthly article, written nearly a quarter-century ago, that inspired director/co-author Richard Linklater and star/co-author Glen Powell to pen the Hit Man script.
  • This is Texas Monthly’s 2024 update.

The film ends with a dedication to the real Gary Johnson:


image host
Spoilers follow

(more…)

11 UGLY Characters Who Are Actually HOT

Scoop, May 28, 2024 (3:08 pm) ... 6 comments.

The most extreme from the list:

3. Naomi Grossman – Pepper on American Horror Story. In Season Two, she was put in an asylum, accused of killing her sister’s baby, and in Season Four, she was part of a freak show. Naomi is so dedicated to her role, she even shaves her head.

R.I.P. Bill Walton

Scoop, May 27, 2024 (8:14 pm) ... 6 comments.

He was one of the greatest high school and college basketball players in history. He still holds the high school record for field goal shooting percentage, .783, and had the third-highest number of rebounds of all time in that same senior season, leading his team to a 33-0 record. In his two healthy years (sophomore and junior) of college play, the UCLA Bruins ran the table, 60-0. In the NCAA final game in his junior year, he shot 21 for 22 from the floor. From the middle of his junior year in high school until a loss to Notre Dame in his senior year of college, his teams won 142 consecutive games. That is a record even Kareem never equaled, although he came close. (Kareem won 71 in a row in high school before losing one in his senior year. He won his first 64 in college.)

Walton’s NBA career was hampered by injuries. In his first eight NBA seasons, he played only 223 games, missing three seasons altogether. Despite his lack of playing time, he won two championships, a league MVP and a finals MVP.

His playing career, as good as it was, seems like just a prelude to his career as a broadcaster and overall ambassador for basketball. On the air, he was always upbeat and positive, if sometimes incomprehensible. As his CBS obit said, “He was known for his entertaining, and at times incoherent, style.” Most important of all, everyone who knew him regarded him as a good person, and considered him a charming broadcaster.

At least when they could figure out what he was talking about.

South Park comes to life on Wheel of Fortune

Scoop, May 27, 2024 (11:47 am)May 27, 2024 (11:48 am) ... no comments.

R.I.P Morgan Spurlock

Scoop, May 24, 2024 (5:26 pm)May 24, 2024 (9:22 pm) ... 14 comments.

His famous “documentary,” Super Size Me, turned out to be bogus. Spurlock never released his food diary, preventing precise fact-checking. Researchers following his general guidelines were unable to duplicate his results, and for a good reason. While he claimed to have lived entirely on McDonald’s food, he failed to mention that he was also consuming large amounts of alcohol at the time.

So nobody should be surprised that you can get fat and unhealthy by eating vast amounts of food, while drinking sugary soft drinks, milk shakes and booze. The fact that it was McDonald’s food is almost irrelevant to the experiment.

Other researchers, duplicating Spurlock’s food regimen as closely as possible, but drinking no milk shakes and substituting diet soft drinks or water for regular soft drinks, actually lost weight and improved their cholesterol numbers!

Spurlock went on to other projects but whatever fame he achieved was a result of Super Size Me.

Amanda Donohoe and Sammi Davis naked in The Rainbow (1989)

Scoop, May 23, 2024 (6:10 pm)January 7, 2026 (8:27 pm) ... 4 comments.

Mediocre film from a mediocre novel.

But great nudity.


Amanda Donohoe

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Sammi Davis

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If you’ve read my blogs for years you know that I’m no fan of D.H. Lawrence. My review of this film goes on and on and on, barely mentioning the film, as is my wont …

D.H. Lawrence was born to a coal-mining family in the Midlands. His dad was one of those rugged miners who worked hard and drank hard. The colliery towns were filled with such types, and the young boys of that world generally couldn’t wait to follow their dads into the pits. They’d go to school until they were fourteen, as prescribed by law, studying and reading only as much as required to avoid a caning, sometimes not even that much. They sorely tested their teachers with surly and rowdy behavior, and they roughhoused together when their time was their own. On their fourteenth birthdays, they’d get as drunk as a skunk and prepare to begin their adult lives down in the mines.

Little Bert Lawrence didn’t much like hanging around with those rough boys, with their hunting and their fighting and their lack of curiosity about the world. The boys beat him up when they had the chance. He liked to play with the girls when he played with children at all, which was seldom. He didn’t even go to school that much. Mostly he was just hanging around the house, acting frail, listening to his mother. Lawrence biographer John Worthen wrote that Bert was, “a sickly child, who had been bullied as ‘mard-arsed’ (soft) when young and who had preferred the company of girls to boys and of books to either.”

Since there were not many careers available in small colliery towns, his next choice was teaching. Unfortunately, he did not have the aptitude for it. In those days, a teacher had to be a pretty tough cookie to command the discipline of those kids who were only waiting to turn fourteen so they could get drunk and descend into the mines. It was no better in London. Lawrence was not a tough cookie by any stretch of the imagination. He was a momma’s boy, and never really had a strong male role model. By the time Bert was five, his dad was 46, twilight time for a hard-boozing coal miner. Lawrence’s mother increasingly treated her husband as a drunken stumblebum, berated him and his life to the children, and told her sons that someday they would take the teetotal pledge, become clerks or teachers, and would not grow up believing that women should be subservient to men. She emasculated her husband and Bert, whom she raised to be too gentle and sensitive to control a class of kids. Despite the age difference, the students ran roughshod over Lawrence the teacher, just as others once had over Lawrence the student. His headmaster gave him no support, having no sympathy for a wimpy teacher, and Bert was advised to seek a different career.

His next choice was to get more education so that he could teach at a higher level, but he had neither the desire nor the knack for upper level scholarship. The fact that he liked to read books did not automatically imply that he had any academic genius. So he spent some time working in factories and doing some bookkeeping, looking for his true vocation, meanwhile writing some poetry. He had befriended some women who introduced him to the pleasures of the arts in London, where he came to be known by some writers and some editors of literary journals. He showed them his poems. They were blown away, not so much by the actual literary efforts as by the remarkable contrast between Lawrence’s background and his writing. As it turned out, young D.H. Lawrence was exactly what the times demanded. The British intelligentsia at the turn of the century had a strong leftist and egalitarian bent, and the progressives all sought fervently to demonstrate that the class barriers in society were artificial and arbitrary. Lawrence was a sensitive poet despite a thick Midlands accent, a humble wardrobe, unrefined manners, and a coal mining father. In other words, he was living proof that a refined artist could come from a humble beginning, so in November of 1909, when he was 24, his first poems were published in a literary journal, and his life as a writer had begun.

It went nowhere for years. More than eight years later, in February of 1918, he was desperate for money. “In another fortnight I shall not have a penny to buy bread and margarine,” he wrote to his agent. He thought things couldn’t get any worse. They could. On the 11th of September that year, his 33rd birthday, he was called up for his military physical. He had been conscripted into World War 1, despite his known opposition to the war and the fact that his wife was German. He never was called to duty and the war ended, but another ten years later, his lot still had not improved much. He was writing, but not making a living wage.

Success finally came to him in 1927-1929, with the publication of the Lady Chatterley editions. John Worthen, director of the D.H. Lawrence Centre in Lawrence’s home county at the University of Nottingham, wrote in his Lawrence Autobiography. “The book was one which changed his career, and has in many ways completely altered his reputation. From being the author of a number of books, not particularly well known, he became – for the next 60 years – primarily the author of Lady Chatterley’s Lover.”

The success which had eluded Lawrence as a philosophical romantic novelist finally came to him as a pornographer. The literary world, which had essentially ignored him for two decades, came to his defense once his work came under attack by churches and censors. There is nothing that unites writers like the threat of censorship. Lady Chatterley’s Lover ignited a firestorm of knee-jerk praise as well as knee-jerk condemnation. Almost all of the reaction on both sides came from people who had never read it. The conservatives attacked it simply because it was sexually explicit. The literary world came to its defense simply because the conservatives attacked it. Lawrence finally became famous just before he was to die.

The impact of that work was truly astounding. There is virtually no doubt that if Lawrence had died in 1926, having written all of his major works except Lady Chatterley, he would now be just another of the completely forgotten English writers of the Victorian and post-Victorian eras, but with the international notoriety gained from the Chatterley controversies, Lawrence’s reputation was completely rehabilitated. Three of his previous novels were chosen by the board of the Modern Library as being among the Top 100 of the century (The Rainbow, Women in Love, Sons and Lovers). That selection is, frankly, absurd. D.H Lawrence wasn’t a great writer or a great thinker. He was a man who wrote “opinion novels” – a classic sub-genre of English Fiction in which the dialogue consists of people just blathering out condescending and unsupported opinions. The women say things like, “I do so think it’s ever so much more lovely and romantic to have Polish heritage,” “Desire is the source of all good and truth,” and other such tommyrot of a nature neither disputable nor supportable so that, if such things were uttered by a nearby person in real life, you’d excuse yourself and find someone more interesting to talk to. When a Lawrence woman is approached by a solicitous mining administrator who says, “Careful, we’re using dynamite here, and you could be injured if you don’t move,” the woman will undoubtedly fail to move, instead delivering a lecture on how the mines should be closed.

Many of Lawrence’s opinions have been remembered because they turned out to be quite right and quite modern. Women did want to break away from the dominance of the traditional husband-wife relationship and to form independent careers and lives. People from the lower classes, if given the opportunities, were perfectly capable of performing in any role normally reserved for the aristocracy or bourgeoisie. Women did think about sexual pleasure, and did lust after animalistic men. Religion did lose its stranglehold on European society. Sexual explicitness did become commonplace in modern fiction.

What made him so prescient in these matters?

Lawrence was able to get to the heart of the woman’s issues through the influence of two very modern women. His mother brought him up to believe that women should not be bossed about by men, and his wife Frieda was certainly not bossable. She had a string of very public affairs throughout their marriage.

It is self-evident how Lawrence was able to figure out the capabilities of the lower classes.

On the other issues, the ones which he could not deduce from his own experiences and influences, his opinions seemed far less astute. As noted earlier, Lawrence was neither a man of great intellect nor great education. His novels (and his letters) can be completely embarrassing to read when he discusses Jews, or Mexicans, for example. Others believe that Lawrence is not at all modern in other ways, and that he patronizes Africans and naively objectifies women.

I don’t know if it is right to measure an author of fiction by the merit of his opinions, but I do know that I don’t much like his writing, and that does seem like a pretty reasonable criterion to apply to an author. His fiction is filled with pointless digressions, his vocabulary is repetitious, the behavior of his characters is romantic and unrealistic, and his wordsmithing is woefully imprecise.

“Yet even waste, grey foreshores, sand, and sorry, far-out clay are sea-bed still, through their hour of bare denuding.”

That would refer, of course, specifically to the bare denuding as opposed to the less common unbare denuding.

A modern filmmaker has a great problem in bringing a D.H. Lawrence story to celluloid. If Lawrence’s great talent had been characterization, or dialogue, or plotting, it would be simpler. A good plot in 1927 is still a good plot today. But how does one recreate the impact of Lawrence’s work when that impact boils down to shock? What was shocking in 1927 is no longer shocking today. The answer is that the filmmaker must create something that shocks today’s audiences the way Lawrence shocked his own time. Over the years, director Ken Russell has done quite a good job of shocking people. Russell first interpreted Women in Love in 1969, and included an extended nude wrestling match between Alan Bates and Oliver Reed, complete with extensive frontal nudity from both of them. Russell must have instinctively known that the shock value would hold up. 35 years later, that scene is still outrageous by today’s standards. To put it in modern terms, imagine Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt wrestling stark naked and sweaty, in close contact for five minutes – with nothing left to the imagination, all of their organs rubbing together, on display to the camera.

Two decades after he made Women in Love, Russell finally got around to the prequel, The Rainbow, which is what I’m actually supposed to be writing about here. These two novels were originally to have been part of one tri-generational family epic called The Sisters, but the length of the work got out of control, so Lawrence split it into two separate books. He might just as well have split it into four books, because The Rainbow essentially consists of three separate stories. The first third is devoted to the grandparents of the characters in Women in Love, and the middle third to their parents. It is not until the final third that the reader enters the lives of the two sisters whose lives form the basis of Women in Love. Russell chose (wisely, I think) to dramatize only the final third of The Rainbow, the part which contains the same central characters as Women in Love.

Russell really struggled to find a “hook” to get this film to match the shock value of his earlier one, and he pulled off a casting coup that worked in its time and place. One of the constantly naked lesbians was played by Sammi Davis, who had grown up as an innocent little girl on British TV. Her participation in hot girl-on-girl sex scenes probably had about the same shock value in the UK as if Annette had done them after the Mickey Mouse Club. Unfortunately, trick casting is rooted in a specific time and place. Away from that 1989 context, The Rainbow’s sensuality doesn’t seem either original or very daring. It was not even very controversial in 1989, except in Britain, and is not now. Although Russell’s version of Women in Love was made two decades before his interpretation of The Rainbow, the earlier film still shocks us today, while the later makes us think, “Yawn. Beautiful nudity. Women together. Good stuff, but been there, done that.” It is simply not as provocative in our time as D.H. Lawrence was in his, and thus it cannot create a cinematic equivalent of the novel’s original impact.

I wonder. Is this the only time anyone has every criticized Ken Russell for not being shocking enough?

Sean Young full-frontal in Love Crimes (1992)

Scoop, May 22, 2024 (5:00 pm)May 22, 2024 (5:05 pm) ... 1 comment.

All comments and captures by Whitecaps.

This is the Sean Young nudity that I mentioned in the Bridget Fonda thread. Andy is right that it is Patrick Bergin and not Eric Roberts. I mixed them up because (interestingly?) both Sean Young and Greta Scacchi had the same complaints about their male co-stars, Sean Young about Bergin, and Greta Scacchi about Eric Roberts in The Coca Cola Kid.

This nude scene was in the VHS so, it’s obviously lower quality than a DVD release. However, it’s also open matte/pan and scan, so it goes lower down. The first scene is in the DVD release but this version shows lower, while the other scene was deleted. I haven’t seen the film but Sean Young is completely nude while Patrick Bergen is photographing her. She is having flashbacks and in the original version the scene concludes with Bergen wrapping Young in a towel.


cap-Love-Crimes-Unrated-1992-VHSRip-AAC-01-00-36-01 cap-Love-Crimes-Unrated-1992-VHSRip-AAC-01-00-40-02 cap-Love-Crimes-Unrated-1992-VHSRip-AAC-01-00-42-03 cap-Love-Crimes-Unrated-1992-VHSRip-AAC-01-00-43-04 cap-Love-Crimes-Unrated-1992-VHSRip-AAC-01-00-56-05 cap-Love-Crimes-Unrated-1992-VHSRip-AAC-01-00-59-06 cap-Love-Crimes-Unrated-1992-VHSRip-AAC-01-01-00-07 cap-Love-Crimes-Unrated-1992-VHSRip-AAC-01-01-01-08

In the DVD version, it cuts straight to them right outside the cabin again. These last 6 captures are from the DVD deleted scene.


cap-Love-Crimes-Unrated-1992-VHSRip-AAC-01-04-00-09 cap-Love-Crimes-Unrated-1992-VHSRip-AAC-01-04-00-10 cap-Love-Crimes-Unrated-1992-VHSRip-AAC-01-04-01-11 cap-Love-Crimes-Unrated-1992-VHSRip-AAC-01-04-01-12 cap-Love-Crimes-Unrated-1992-VHSRip-AAC-01-04-04-13 cap-Love-Crimes-Unrated-1992-VHSRip-AAC-01-04-07-14

If only we could have everything and have a high definition pan and scan/open matte version.

Amanda Wyss in Deadly Innocents (1989)

Scoop, May 22, 2024 (4:44 pm)May 22, 2024 (5:03 pm) ... 2 comments.

All captures and comments by Whitecaps

Living in the past as I tend to do, I was looking over Fast Times at Ridgemont High, when I noticed that one significant actress did not have a nude scene in the film – Amanda Wyss. You may remember she played Brad’s (Judge Reinhold) girlfriend who broke up with him as he was thanking her for staying with him.

She did her only nude scene in 1989 in Deadly Innocents. It’s from a DVD release, but it’s certainly not great quality. I brightened some of the caps. It’s interesting how the quality of the video had gotten a lot better with the same basic technology.


cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-00-12-31-01 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-00-12-32-02 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-00-12-34-03 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-00-12-35-04 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-00-12-38-05 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-00-12-45-06 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-00-12-59-07 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-00-12-59-08 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-00-13-00-09 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-00-13-36-10 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-00-13-37-11 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-01-30-07-12 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-01-30-20-13 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-01-30-21-14 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-01-30-21-15 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-01-30-23-16 cap-Deadly-Innocents-1989-01-30-26-17

————-

For those interested or who want a reminder, this is Amanda Wyss in Fast Times At Ridgemont High


cap-Fast-Times-at-Ridgemont-High-1982-BDRip-1080p-DTS-High-Code-00-34-41-02

Also of interest …


cap-Fast-Times-at-Ridgemont-High-1982-BDRip-1080p-DTS-High-Code-01-12-05-01

When I had hair, I looked exactly like the guy on the left. However, of more interest is the actor on the right, Vincent Schiavelli. What likely got him the role in Fast Times is that about a decade earlier he had a role in Milos Forman’s first American film Taking Off (1971.) Forman is maybe most famous for directing One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, but Taking Off is largely forgotten.

However, it’s an interesting film with a sardonic take on what was either a serious issue or a moral panic of that time – runaway teens. (It seems many of the teens were at least 18, so they couldn’t actually be classified as runaways.) In this film Buck Henry plays a father who had previously tried to help another woman when her daughter ran away. In the process he discovers an underground social safety net for the runaways. In sympathy of this mother, he also joins a support group for parents of run away children she is also a member of.

So, when his own daughter runs away, at first his wife insists they go drive around looking for her. However, he literally turns around saying “I’m sure our daughter is safe and having fun and that’s what we should be doing to.”

So, they attend one of these support group meetings where they are educated on why their children might run away. In the process, a convicted drug delinquent doing community service played by Schiavelli gets to teach these parents on the proper use and etiquette of marijuana (a roach.) This scene probably goes on too long, it’s a full 10 minutes, but it’s often hilarious and you can see Schiavelli is having a genuinely good time. “You do not take a second puff of the roach, you must immediately pass it to the next person in the circle. Taking a second puff a serious breach of etiquette.’

One reviewer called Taking Off ‘anti human.’

Cannes nudity report: The Balconettes

Scoop, May 20, 2024 (11:02 pm)May 20, 2024 (11:04 pm) ... 9 comments.

Weird rape-revenge comedy, “a messy and boisterous romp that otherwise exalts (sic) in the female body from its very first shot”

It’s hard to remember the last time a director prominently displayed their own vagina onscreen. Statistically speaking, most of them wouldn’t be able to do it if they tried. But Noémie Merlant has never shied away from an opportunity to redefine how female bodies are depicted on film, and her recent pivot behind the camera has only emboldened her. Her character’s pursuit of an abortion leads her to the world’s most apathetic gynecologist, who instructs Élise to place her feet in the stirrups and point her body towards the audience as she waits and waits and waits to be examined.

There is also a squirting scene with Souheila Yacoub, who is topless throughout the film.

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