According to reports from The Daily Beast in April 2026, Donald Trump privately intended to “put Noem out to the glue factory” — meaning removing the puppy-slaughtering cosplayer from power — by creating a fake, nominal job for her after firing her as Secretary of Homeland Security. This move aimed to sideline her while keeping her on the payroll to prevent her from getting enough signatures for a Senate primary challenge, which had to be submitted by March 31.
Well, a tip of the hat to Trump if he decided to use the metaphor “send her to the glue factory.” I only wanted to “let her romp playfully in a farm upstate.” If I had been in Trump’s shoes, instead of creating a fake agency, I would have made her a special Ambassador to the UK, Pacific Division, with instructions to open a new satellite embassy in Adamstown, on Pitcairn’s Island, which is the only remaining British territory in the Pacific. I’d even let Lewandowski go along as her chief of staff.
This involves planning way farther ahead than Trump is capable of. I believe he made the mouth-noises, but you know this was an idea from Miller or Little Marco.
I hear you. That strategy is actually cunning.
So, yeah, not Trump’s.
You know he didn’t create it for two reasons.
1) It’s actually kind of brilliant and would have required some advance planning.
2) If he had thought of it, he would have bragged about it publicly by now, probably on April 1, when the deadline for Noem to enter the Senate race had expired.
They all have fake jobs. At least fake skill, knowledge, ability, and effort.
How dare she do exactly what he wanted her to do!
When people didn’t *like* what he wanted her to do, some space became available under a bus. When she said he approved the $200 million horsey ad, it was easy to say that she lied (though likelier he did approve and either forgot or wanted to pretend he hadn’t) and there’s your pretext.
What he wanted her to do? Did he want her to create the $200 million ad campaign?
There’s the big question.
If he did not approve it, he fired her for that.
If he did approve it, he fired her for not falling on her sword for him.
After seeing shit today this is down the list of crazy below:
– JD Vance corrected the Pope on theology when he “converted” to Catholicism like 7 years ago
– Hegseth quoted Pulp Fiction and not the Bible when he claimed to drop a quote from scripture supporting his war mongering in a speech
– The head of FEMA claims he was teleported to Waffle House
– RFK Jr cut off a dead raccoon’s dick to study it
The Onion couldn’t even make up this stupid shit anymore.
That Hegseth thing was a jaw-dropper from the little-known Gospel According to Tarantino.
The Pulp Fiction thing was clearly a joke, he’s laughing while he says it, even in the deceptively-edited clip they’ve been shopping around.
There’s legit criticism then there’s intentional misinformation. This appears to be the latter.
I don’t think “joke” would be the right word, unless you think he was making fun of the Bible. He was quoting from a prayer used by the rescue teams. He clearly said that they call it CSAR 25:17, meant to reflect Ezekiel, not to quote it directly.
Quentin Tarantino used it in Pulp Fiction, but he stole it almost verbatim from a 1973 Sonny Chiba film, Karate Kiba, where it read:
Just substitute “the Lord” or “Sandy 1” for “Chiba the bodyguard” et voilà – instant “prayer,” or Tarantino character.
The full quote doesn’t really reflect Ezekiel at all. The actual verse from Ezekiel is entirely about Israel getting revenge, by God’s command, by destroying all the neighboring lands. It’s about revenge, not shepherding or rescue. 17 simply says:
“And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them”.
This was especially inappropriate if you consider the entirety of Ezekiel 25
* God promised to punish the chosen people by delivering them into captivity by Iraq (then known as Babylon). That’s not Iran, but it’s too close for comfort)
* God threatened to use Israel to destroy the Gaza Strip, then known as Philistine
The entire chapter is about Israel, through God’s command, laying waste to the Middle East. While it does not specifically mention Persia (Iran), it’s still too much “on the nose.”
In other words, if Hegseth was quoting Karate Kina / Pulp Fiction, it was about shepherding/rescue/protection. If he meant to evoke Ezekiel in prayer, it was about Israel destroying its neighbors! So I think Hegseth is much better off just admitting that he was quoting a chopsocky film, rather than reflecting the book of Ezekiel.
I think far and away the funniest non-joke on the list is RFK’s severed raccoon pecker. From now on, whenever he testifies about anything, it should be…’How’s that dead raccoon pecker holding up? How big is it, really? Has your raccoon pecker research changed your position on vax schedules? Do you think a guy who cut a pecker off of roadkill is competent to make decisions about our healthcare system?’
Oh, come on now. Who among us has not enjoyed studying the occasional raccoon dick? If not, they should.
As I noted in my original post on this subject, my parents’ road trips were too boring. The only time we ever stopped was to pick up some pralines at Stuckey’s. It would have really broken up the boredom if my dad had stopped occasionally to mutilate some woodland creatures.