… not like the Mona Lisa was painted, but like your first apartment was painted before you moved in.
This reminds me of a story. I was in Denmark on business with my friend Svein, enjoying a beverage or two after a long work day, and we somehow found ourselves in the company of two attractive Danish women. If you’ve been to Denmark, you realize that you don’t pick up Danish women. They pick you up. These two were suddenly at our table, after having awaited no action from us, not even a nod.
One of the women said she wanted to take me back to her place and paint me. I found this to be an unconvincing and semi-creepy pick-up line, so I chuckled and changed the subject. As I thought about it, I realized it was an intriguing idea to be immortalized on canvas. What if she became famous? Would my image be hanging in the Met? Later, as I was dancing with the other woman, I asked her whether her friend was really a painter.
“Oh, yes. She has painted some of the best barns in Denmark.”
And so my illusions were shattered. I would not be on canvas. I would actually be the canvas. Instead of posing for the delicate strokes of the next Rembrandt, I would get hosed down in russet hues by a Wagner Power Painter.
I declined the invitation.
Miley Cyrus apparently did not
In The Producers, Franz Liebkind said of Hitler, “Der Fuehrer, there was a painter! He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon. TWO COATS!” I believe Hitler could have done justice to Miley Cyrus as well.
The sponsor that commissioned these works is named Maison Margiela. My French is weak, but I believe that means “house painter.”
I wonder how they are with barns.