- If you drop an umbrella on the floor, somebody will be murdered in your home.
- If you have 13 people at the dinner table, one of them will die.
- If a shirt is being mended while someone wears it, the wearer has to chew on a piece of thread or his brains will get sewn in.
- Whistling after midnight will bring child traffickers.
And many others just as silly.
I think they left out a few:
Putting ketchup on a hot dog will get your ass kicked in NYC.
The only way to restore your memory loss from a falling coconut is to be hit with a second coconut.
Similarly, the curse from killing a mockingbird can only be broken by killing a second mockingbird. The lesson: when slaughtering mockingbirds, always be careful to kill an even number.
The coconut one is real. I saw it in a documentary about a group of castaways.
Other things I learned from TV documentaries:
-If a car goes over a cliff, its chances of exploding in flame is precisely 100%.
-If someone suffers a head injury, you absolutely have to keep them awake, otherwise it’s sayonara.
-Even if a child gets abducted in broad daylight in front of dozens of witnesses, you still have to wait 48 hours before filing a missing persons report.
-A metal tube the size of a large hot dog will almost completely muffle a gunshot.
-The top three causes of death in jungles are (in uncertain order) quicksand, piranha fish, and blow-darts.
-If you were in a platoon during Vietnam, one of your former pals has snapped, and is out to pick all the rest of you off, using a group photo with the faces Xed off. Unless, of course, you’re the one who’s snapped.
So whistling after midnight will rid me of these prick kids?
Fantastic!
So having 13 people over for dinner gives 12 people immortality?
Yes, but WHICH 12?
If you paint a hole in the side of a mountain, one and only one will be able to go through it.
Or maybe that’s just an old Warner’s tail.